tends to go overboard. But since I own him too, I put him in his place at times.
Like now.
By breaking his rule.
Once the ice cream guy hands him the cones, Arrow begins to walk back. His eyes are still flashing and gosh, the way he’s walking, almost prowling, over to me, makes me clench my thighs.
Makes me shiver.
Two years, and still I’m not at all equipped to handle his sexiness.
I’m so not equipped, and I know that as soon as he reaches me, I’m going to throw myself at him like a lovesick schoolgirl, which I’m not. Not anymore.
I graduated from St. Mary’s two summers ago.
But it’s not a secret that I can be a little crazy and emotional.
A little reckless.
And in the time that we’ve been together, I’ve been both. A lot.
Maybe because it hasn’t been easy, the past two years.
First, it was St. Mary’s.
As Arrow promised that night – the night he confessed his feelings and said that we’d figure everything out – he dropped me off at St. Mary’s the very next day. He wasn’t allowed into the dorm building though, which he didn’t like at all, so he kissed me goodbye at the door in front of everyone and told me that he’d call me Saturday.
He did, too.
He called me every Saturday until I graduated. He also came to see me on visiting weekends and took me out on dates. Again, as he had promised.
There was gossip as I’d feared and nobody at St. Mary’s warmed up to me until the end – well, except for my awesome friends with whom I still keep in touch – but nothing I couldn’t handle.
Anyway, the rest of the time, up until my graduation, we emailed.
Writing traditional letters to each other – which we did also – is fun but technology does have its perks. Especially when you’re in a long-distance relationship with your boyfriend, who’s also a very busy and bright athlete.
Arrow stayed in town for Christmas that year before leaving for LA.
I still remember how hard it was when he left.
Even though I wasn’t sneaking out to see him like I used to do before they found my letters, the thought that he was close, in that gray motel room, had been a comfort.
But then he left because he had to.
So those first couple of months were not pretty.
I would cry a lot during our Saturday phone conversations and he’d try to console me. I’d write him long emails and he’d write me even longer ones. Sometimes he’d be the sad one instead of me, which he basically showed by being short and abrasive, always blaming soccer for our distance. I’d be the one to soothe him then and tell him that this separation was only for a few short months.
And I was right.
Because after I graduated, I joined the Galaxy’s youth summer program all the way in California.
Honestly, I did that more to be close to him than for soccer.
But whatever.
It was a happy time because I could see him and talk to him without all the million freaking rules and restrictions.
Well, overall happy. Because that was also when I broke the news to my sister.
I hadn’t been looking forward to it but it had to be done.
I had to tell her. And I had to do it in person.
So I’d asked Arrow – and also Leah – to keep our relationship a secret until I could get a chance to see Sarah. Arrow wasn’t happy about it but he did it for me. He also wanted to be there when I told her, but I refused.
I had to do it alone and I did.
We met for coffee – she wouldn’t agree to lunch – and I told her.
And she told me that I was a whore. That I broke her trust and betrayed her in the worst possible way.
I mean, it wasn’t unexpected.
I had always known that she’d say those things. I always knew she would never forgive me for loving Arrow.
But still, it hurt. It made me cry for a few days when I got back from our little coffee date.
Now my sister and I, we don’t talk.
We haven’t talked in ages. She doesn’t return any of my phone calls or emails. She even quit her job with the team and moved to New York a few weeks after I’d broken the news to her.
As much as it still hurts, I get it.
I get her anger.
It’s the same anger that I have for her,