peek out at the ‘le’ of it, wedged between his teeth. I saw him hiss a little bit too, at ‘Sa.’
Which is nothing new because I see it all the time when people say my name.
But I’ve never seen it from him.
Just like I’ve never said his name out loud in public, he’s never said my name either. At least, in front of me.
So really, it’s his fault that he’s making me do this.
That he’s making me forget my indignation – righteous indignation – and walk across the field to get to him.
“Arrow,” I say when I reach him and flinch.
Damn it.
It just slipped out and at the worst time, no less. Almost the whole school is watching. I think I heard them gasp again.
But Arrow has no reaction to it whatsoever.
“How long have you been playing soccer?” he asks in a soft voice, studying my panting, sweaty form.
I blink up at him as I answer, “Since I was like, seven or eight.”
“So you know the game pretty well, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“What position do you play again?”
“Wide midfielder.”
“And what does a wide midfielder do?”
He asks the question as if he’s asking a child and it makes me feel both embarrassed and angry.
But I can’t do anything about it, can I?
He’s my coach and I’ve already slipped up twice today.
I open my mouth to answer but I’m too late because he speaks again. This time loudly as if addressing the whole crowd but still keeping his blazing eyes on me.
“Actually, why don’t you tell us all what the job of a wide midfielder is.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Turn around,” he explains slowly and clearly, again as if to a child. “And in a very clear and loud voice, explain to the whole team what you think a wide midfielder does.”
I feel things happening inside my body then. Loud things, trembly things. All because he’s trying to humiliate me.
All because he’s standing so close to me while doing it that I can smell the musk of his skin.
Fisting my hands, I take a deep breath and purse my lips. Under his intense scrutiny, I turn around and say, “As a wide midfielder, my job is to cover the field at the center. That includes stealing the ball from the opposite team, passing it to the attackers and forwards of my team. Hopefully, so they’ll make goals.”
I don’t know how the air can be so silent with so many people present, but it is. No one talks or whispers or murmurs. Everyone is simply waiting for things to unfold.
And everyone jumps, including me, when Arrow speaks. “Pass the ball and help forwards make the goal.” I look away from the crowd and focus on him and his murmured voice. “Tell me, Salem, did you pass the ball to your forwards even once in the game?”
No.
I didn’t.
My cheeks burn as he keeps staring down at me with harsh eyes. My whole body burns like he just lit fire to my soccer cleats.
But he’s right.
I did commit the crime he’s accusing me of.
I did not pass the ball.
Once I took possession of it, I didn’t let it go. I took all the shots myself. If I wasn’t open to take the shot, I dribbled and ran with the ball until I could. It was pure luck that the player from the opposite team didn’t steal the ball from me and make the goal herself.
Swallowing again, I shake my head. “No.”
“No, what?” he bites out and I flinch.
It burns me even more, his question, his hint, but I understand. “No, Coach.”
He narrows his eyes for a second as if he’s absorbing it too, me calling him Coach. It makes him even more menacing, meaner.
“Well, as your coach, allow me to educate you on the first rule of soccer. Soccer is a team sport. Meaning, you play as a team. Meaning, you don’t steal your teammate’s play. You don’t let your forwards run up and down the field, looking like fools. Especially when they’re trying to communicate with you, trying to tell you that they have a better chance of scoring if you just pass the ball. So next time, do your job, follow the rules and pass the fucking ball.”
Perfection.
Greatness. Being at the top. Being the best.
Those are the things that I grew up with.
Those are the things that have been drilled into my head ever since I was a kid and I’d see my soccer legend of a father, Atticus Carlisle, play.
Mostly on the television screen because he passed