with my full force, pushing him down to the ground where he wriggles underneath me. I grab him by his collar and pull him up. He’s trying to take swings at me, but I was right—I am stronger.
I hold him at arm’s length. Those muscles he sports are all for show. They’re useless, just an illusion.
“Just stay the fuck away from her!” he shouts, and I release him. He staggers back, almost slipping but manages to keep standing.
“And you stay the fuck away from me,” I shout.
“No problem, man. I’m just here to tell you it’s over. She won’t be needing your services anymore,” he adds.
I know he’s right. She doesn’t need me anymore. I just can’t get over the fact that she sent this jackass to deliver the message. This is the guy she’s chosen over me?
“Get out!” I growl, rage dripping from every pore, and the guy walks back into the door.
I know he’s afraid. Maybe he wasn’t expecting me to be the way I am. Maybe he thought he could make threats and get away with it, but I’m going to send him scampering with his tail between his legs.
I watch as he finally leaves, tracking his steps down the corridor until he’s out of my line of vision, hopefully getting into the elevator.
I’m tempted to call Kim. Send her an email. Tell her I got the message. I was feeling confused and upset before, but right now, I don’t feel anything but rage. I guess she didn’t feel the things I did when we were together. She went running straight into the arms of this jackass.
And maybe she’s right. Maybe this guy has way more to give her than I do. After all, it’s not like I knew what I was doing. Kim was a virgin when we first met, but I was the one who didn’t know how to love her.
23
Kim
I’ve packed everything in my apartment I think I’ll need. It’s finally happened—the thing I’ve been trying to work all my adult life against is now taking place.
I feel like I have no choice but to return home to live with my parents. What other option do I have?
I have no job. No source of income. And I’m pregnant. In eight months or less, I will be the mother of a baby. A child I am responsible for, and I can’t keep living here in this tiny space without having a way to make ends meet.
It has been a difficult decision. Probably one of the hardest ones of my life. My parents are trying their best to be supportive, but I can see the disappointment in their eyes. I know they’re blaming themselves for the situation I now find myself in.
I have no idea what’s going to happen to my career. All their hopes and dreams have been squashed, and so have mine.
Yes, it’s true. I never wanted to be a part of the rat race. I always saw myself as the kind of woman who dedicated her life to the responsibility of raising a family and making a good home for her children.
However, I didn’t plan on doing it alone. I certainly didn’t plan on doing it back at my parents’ home.
Blaire keeps offering for me to move in with her, but I don’t want to impose on her. I don’t want to make her uncomfortable in her own space. I know how busy and hectic her life can get. A baby would just be in her way. A baby who is nobody else’s responsibility but mine.
She is the one who reminds me that the baby is also Kirk’s responsibility, but after everything that has happened, and after I now know what I know about his thoughts—it’s out of the question.
I don’t want him to be a part of my pregnancy or offer me any assistance out of a sense of duty. He can choose to be a part of our child’s life, but that is a decision to be made later.
Right now, all I have to do is haul myself back home and somehow find peace in living with my parents again. I am grateful that I am even welcome home, that they are willing to take me in and support me. I’m aware that so many girls in my position don’t have that choice.
Blaire is supposed to arrive here in a few hours and drive me to the train station. I’m giving my apartment a last once-over when there’s a knock on