my neck. When he pulls me to him, I don’t resist. Why should I? This is exactly what I want.
He draws me in, and I can feel myself opening up to him. Melting in his arms like a popsicle.
The last time we kissed—which was also our first time—it was a hungry, wild kiss. This time, our mouths open, press together, and he envelopes me in his arms.
I feel like I’m losing all control of my legs. They have turned to jelly, and I fall into him. In the same motion, he starts pushing against me, pushing me into my apartment.
My hands are on his sturdy broad chest. I’m clinging to him. I love the smell of his cologne in my nose. All around me. His arms are tightly wound around me. We are one entity.
His tongue pushes into my mouth, deeper and deeper until I feel like he is consuming me. I’ve been dreaming about this kiss. Fantasizing about what it would be like if we finished what we started. Is this what’s happening right now?
I am more than ready to give myself to him. I want him to be the first.
I can feel his fingers on the elastic band of my shorts, slowly pushing them down my hips, down my thighs, until they fall to the ground. I’m unbuttoning his shirt. I flip it open and run my fingers over the coarse dark hair in the middle of his chest. When our mouths part, I’m breathing hard. Can he see what I want?
I push into him, and he keeps his hands on my waist, sliding his fingers into my panties slowly.
I don’t know where I find the courage to do it, but I am pushing my hand down the front of his pants too. I’ve been dying to feel it. I want to know the shape and size of him. He is thick. Big. Throbbing.
I look into his eyes and notice the way he’s staring at me. Hungrily. Like he is going to devour me whole.
I move my hand away. I don’t know what to do next. Maybe I’m coming across as naive. A fool. But I’ve never done this before. I don’t know what he wants me to do.
I step away from him, and while his eyes remain on me, I slowly start pulling my t-shirt up. I throw it to the floor. I’m not wearing a bra, and my breasts swing into view.
I see the way Kirk’s blue eyes dance as he catches sight of my naked body in front of him. I am in nothing but panties. I want him to take me now. I want him to tell me what to do next.
Kirk stands there with his chiseled body, his six-pack abs on display through the open shirt. He runs a hand through his thick, dark hair.
Should I get down on my knees? Touch myself? How does he want me to please him?
“Put your clothes back on, Kim,” he finally says, and I feel like my world has come crashing down on me again.
I should have known he would change his mind. How could I be so stupid? Why did I think that a man like Kirk would come to my apartment and want to be with me?
There must have been some miscommunication. I’m seriously doubting everything that has happened in the last ten minutes since he knocked on my door. Did I misunderstand him? Was it all a hallucination? Yes, I was definitely dreaming!
Am I the one who kissed him first?
Did I lunge at him? Pounce on him?
Have I made a complete fool of myself?
I have convinced myself to undress in front of my boss and offer myself up to him. What have I done? What will I do next? How will I ever get out of this hole I’ve dug?
I put on my clothes hurriedly, keeping my back turned to him. I can feel my cheeks burning up. My whole body is running so hot, I could have a fever. I’m afraid of turning around and facing him. Afraid of what he is going to say.
“Kim,” he finally says, and his voice is low and deep. I have no choice. I have to face the music now.
When I turn I see that he has buttoned up his shirt and straightened his clothes and hair.
He is about to say something, but I interrupt him.
“I don’t need an explanation. I’ve been an idiot. I shouldn’t have…you should leave.”
Kirk watches me for a full hot minute