but meaningful at the same time. Neither of us has allowed things to get too serious. We’re living in the moment, and what is wrong with that?
It’s been two weeks since the weekend away in Las Vegas. Three weeks since I took her virginity. Already, I can’t remember the time before she was a part of my life.
I still don’t know where we’re going from here, but I want to find out soon. No other woman has made me feel like this before. Like we may have a future.
I love watching her cook.
I have the financial news running on the TV screen as I usually do, while Kim is in the kitchen, cooking a meal for us. It’s her turn tonight, and she’s making lasagna.
“This is my mom’s recipe,” she says when she brings the dish over to the dining table.
“My mom never really cooked for me when I was growing up,” I comment as we dig in. Lately, I’ve been experiencing moments with Kim when I can see myself introducing her to my family. Something else I never thought I would experience.
“I’m sorry, Kirk. I’m sorry you had the childhood you did,” she says, laying a hand on mine.
I chuckle forcibly. “Don’t worry, I’m over it. I think I might even be ready to forgive her.”
The more time I spend with Kim, the more I can see why Reed isn’t affected by our past anymore. He has Ella and his kid. Do I have Kim? Is she really mine?
We talk about work a little, but mostly we discuss her childhood and all the delicious food her mother used to cook. It sounds idyllic.
After dinner, we drink a glass of wine and I ask if she wants to stay over. As a response, she starts kissing me, and we are wrapped up in each other’s arms on the couch when her phone rings.
“Just ignore the damn thing,” I say, but she giggles and moves away to look at her phone.
From the expression on her face, I can sense there’s something wrong. She turns her back to me as she answers.
“Hi, Blaire,” she says, and I can sense her stressing on her friend’s name.
For the past two weeks, we have managed to subtly avoid the subject of Blaire and the implications our actions will have on their relationship.
“Yeah, sorry, I just caught up with work and didn’t see your texts. Okay. Yeah. I’ll be home in twenty minutes. I’ll see you then.”
The call ends, and Kim turns to face me again.
“I have to go,” she says.
I stand up and run a hand through my hair.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
She’s already picking up her things, looking a little panicked.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just need to be home because Blaire’s coming over. I’ve been ignoring her for a while. Since Las Vegas. She’s getting suspicious.”
Kim is at the door before I’ve had a chance to respond. I go over and pull her into my arms. I kiss her lips and tuck her hair behind her ears.
“I’m sure you’ll handle it,” I say. Maybe it’s not the right thing to say. What is the right thing to say? Of course she shouldn’t be handling it on her own. I am as much a part of the problem as she is.
Kim nods, and then she’s gone.
19
Kim
I forgot Blaire has a key to my apartment. I’m so glad I didn’t invite Kirk over the way I was planning to tonight!
When I walk in, Blaire has already poured herself some wine, and she seems flustered about something.
“Hi, what’s going on? Is everything okay?” I ask.
I haven’t been seeing much of her, feigning a busy work schedule. The truth is that I feel too nervous and guilty around her these days. I am not only sleeping with her ex, but I am now tangled up in some kind of a relationship with him. I’m not even sure what to call this thing we have, but it’s something! Something Blaire ought to know about.
She gulps her wine and hooks a hand on her hip.
“Some shit at work. I’m just…frustrated, and I wanted to talk to somebody, and you’re just so busy all the time these days.”
I go over and put my arms around her. I hug her tightly, and when I pull away, I see she has her nose scrunched up.
“What’s that smell? Are you wearing cologne?” she asks.
I step away quickly.
“No! Of course not!” I go to the kitchen counter, busying myself with drying some discarded dishes. Anything