her workplace, and then a few of the arguments she has recently gotten into with her hot neighbor.
Whether she wants to admit it or not, those two want to rip each other’s clothes off. So maybe I should tell her about how Kirk and I almost did just that.
But I can’t. I can’t bring myself to say the words. He isn’t just my boss; she was once with him. It doesn’t matter that their relationship didn’t work out. I know she feels nothing for him anymore. Not even attraction.
It still feels like the biggest betrayal in the world.
“So what’s happening at work? How is your boss?” Blaire snaps me out of my thoughts again. How long have I been spaced out?
I can feel my cheeks burning as I try to stuff my face with the seaweed salad instead.
“Yeah, good, it’s all good.”
I know I’m smiling too much. She’s looking at me funny, like she can detect there’s something up.
“Has he been treating you well? I know Kirk can be difficult to work with but do you need me to speak to him?”
“No!” I almost squeal.
That takes her by surprise too, and Blaire leans towards me over the table.
“Hey, is there something you’re not telling me, Kim? You know you can be honest with me.”
“I know. There’s nothing. I’m just exhausted. We’ve been working late hours. A few big deals are coming up. That’s all. In fact, I would like it if we didn’t talk about my work. I spend all day thinking about it.” I try to chuckle, but it sounds giddy and nervous. Forced.
Even though Blaire nods in agreement, I can sense she’s sniffed something in the air. She’s not fully convinced that it’s all sunny in paradise.
“Okay, Kim, we don’t have to talk about it. I just want you to know that I want you to be happy at your job. I also want you to be treated well.”
I nod and stuff more of the salad in my mouth.
What have I done right in my life to deserve a friend like Blaire? I know all the things I’ve done wrong. I don’t deserve her.
If only I regretted it. Regretted that kiss with Kirk and wanted to erase the memory of being held by him. But I don’t. I don’t regret anything. If he wants me again, I know I will give in to him in a heartbeat.
12
Kirk
Well, at least my legal team is pleased. They are all collectively breathing a sigh of relief because I haven’t been pestering them about fighting the board on their decision to restrict my extreme sports addiction.
In fact, I haven’t been able to focus on anything other than trying to deal with my desire for Kim. What happened between us was wrong on so many levels, and I have spent every day since then trying to get over it.
Never before have I felt this level of guilt for making out with a girl. I don’t know what is happening to me.
I can’t even fire her now. I’ve already tried to do it once, and it didn’t go so well. All I can do now is suck it up and move on.
I’ve tried everything since the incident in the conference room. I’ve spent every night at various bars and clubs around town getting drunk. The moment I get even remotely close to taking a girl back home with me, I put an end to it.
I don’t know why I’m not being able to do it. Why can’t I move on from Kim? What is so special about her?
Tonight I worked late at the office, but Kim didn’t stay back. She made sure she looked after everything I needed and then left. I was glad for it. The less time she spends around me, the better it is for everybody.
I eventually return to the penthouse. Shower, change, and get ready to hit the town. A few of my friends are checking out a new whiskey-bar downtown, and I intend to join them. Anything to make me forget about her.
I’m just about to leave when I get a call. It’s Blaire.
I almost don’t answer, but curiosity gets the better of me.
“What can I do you for?” I say.
“Hi, Kirk. So glad to see you’re still answering my calls.”
I’m immediately defensive because I don’t know why she would make a comment like that. Then she starts chuckling and I realize she’s just making a joke.
I let out a gruff breath.
“What do you want, Blaire? I have somewhere