why you’re avoiding me? I wanted us to talk today.”
“I don’t think we have anything to talk about,” I snap.
Kirk takes a moment, after which he nods.
“Yeah, you’re right, we don’t.”
He gives me a moment, one last opportunity to correct myself. I know in fifteen minutes, I’m going to regret it, but right now, I’ve managed to muster up some strength and I’m going to use all of it.
He brushes a hand through his hair and looks away from me. That’s when his eyes fall on the box on the floor. He focuses on the contents of the box and recognizes them immediately.
I don’t know why, but suddenly, I feel very guilty. When he looks at me again, I want to fall at his feet and apologize. I don’t even know what for.
“What the fuck is this?” he growls.
I say nothing, just stare at him as his face hardens.
“You’ve brought your stuff back from the office? Why?”
I still don’t say anything. I can’t make myself use those words—I quit. I know I should be proud of myself for taking a stand, but right now, I don’t feel very proud.
“Were you planning on just disappearing again? For good this time?” he growls again.
He gives me a chance to come to my own defense, but when he realizes he won’t be getting that from me, he walks past and goes to the door. He turns to look at my apartment. Looks at me one last time before he leaves.
Finally, I’ve got what I wanted. Or at least what I’ve convinced myself I want.
22
Kirk
I know it shouldn’t matter. Kim has quit the job. I don’t know why because she is refusing to speak to me or give me a reason. I shouldn’t care.
I’m driving like a maniac. Zooming through traffic. In my rearview mirror, I see people stick their necks out of their cars and punch the air with their fists at me. Yeah, fuck them.
I need to feel something other than this fury and frustration that’s coursing through my veins. I don’t think I have ever felt like this before.
Shouldn’t I be glad about this? Shouldn’t I breathe a sigh of relief?
By quitting, Kim has made this very easy for me. Just a couple of hours ago, I didn’t know how to handle my feelings for her. I was at a complete loss. My brother spent most of the time we were talking trying to convince me to be open and honest with Kim.
I told him I would speak to her. When I saw she had already left the office, I decided to take the plunge and go to her apartment. I knew that if I didn’t talk to her now, tonight, I would talk myself out of doing it tomorrow.
Not a lot terrifies me but having a conversation like that with a woman I am actually falling for freakin’ scares the hell out of me.
And yet, I did it.
I went to her apartment because I want her. I don’t know if I’ll ever stop wanting her. Whatever magic curse she’s played on me, it has worked like a charm, and now I’m hooked to her.
The only piece missing from this puzzle is the fact that I didn’t predict she doesn’t want me. Everything we have shared the last few weeks has indicated that she wants me too. Every minute that we have spent together has been perfection, and yet, she quit the job, and by the looks of it, she wants to have nothing to do with me.
I can’t help but point my finger at Blaire.
What if this is all her fault?
Kim got that phone call from Blaire and things have not been the same since then.
I look through my phone as I’m driving. I’m seconds away from dialing her number. I want to bring hellfire down on Blaire if she is responsible for keeping Kim from me.
I hear a loud horn and headlights flash on my face. I look up from my phone, swerving sharply to the right. My car spins. I clench my jaw, and slowly, but surely, my car stops spinning. Other vehicles have formed a frozen semi-circle around me.
The car finally stops. I’m clutching the steering wheel with pale knuckles. I don’t even know where my phone is anymore.
I lean back in my seat.
I need to get a grip on myself. I need to stop. Slow down. I need to stay alive.
I’m not going to call Blaire tonight. What is the point? Kim has already made her