trouble. This wouldn’t be the first or last time I’d made the press paint me in a negative light. It was what I did best.
“You know Harley’s my wife?”
With my eyes still on him, I slowly nodded.
“And we have a baby girl.”
He said it with such conviction, as if he assumed I’d think otherwise.
“I ain’t here to have a pissin’ contest over Harley.”
“Cash, will you sign my tits?” one of the chicks slurred from the crowd, pushing against the guards to let her by.
I didn’t pay her any mind.
“Yeah, like you give two fucks about her.”
“Don’t go there, man.” I firmly shook my head. “You think I wanna be here for this bullshit? Dealin’ wit’ you in my fuckin’ face? You think this is the way I’d wanna see either of you, after all these years?”
“I don’t give a fuck what you think, or about your contract. You should have gotten fuckin’ sued rather than show your face on my fuckin’ turf. Besides, you can afford it. You’re Cash McGraw, right? Fuckin’ pussy.”
I stepped right into his face.
He didn’t hesitate in spewing, “Of all the songs you could sing, you picked that one? Who the fuck do you think you are?”
“It was in the contract. I had no say. But I don’t got time for your bullshit. I gotta plane to catch. Now get the fuck outta my way.”
“Well, you’re gonna make time. I’m not done with you yet.”
“Fuckin’ A!” I roared, hanging on by a thread. “I never lied to anyone ’bout what I wanted in life. Especially Harley. You think it was easy for me? For everyone, includin’ my parents, my father, turnin’ their backs on me ’cuz I didn’t go down the path they wanted.”
“Harley always believed in you, and don’t you ever fuckin’ forget that.”
“What do ya want me to say, quarterback? You won the girl. Is that what you need to hear?”
“Cash! Cash! Cash!” the room chanted.
It didn’t surprise me when he asked, “Were you in love with her? Are you still?”
My jaw clenched, tugging my hair back. “I see you haven’t changed, still insecure as always.”
“Answer my fuckin’ question, McGraw.”
“And what if I don’t? Huh? What are you gonna do?”
“I’ll beat it the fuck out of you.”
“Jackson, I wasn’t scared of you then, and I ain’t scared of you now. I won’t ask you again, get the fuck outta my way. I need to go.”
“She always deserved better than you,” he scoffed out, seething. “I never understood why she loved you so fuckin’ much. I still don’t. ’Cuz the man I see standing in front of me is nothing but a little bitch with his dick tucked in between his legs. You may have had her fooled back then, but now she knows what you’re really made of. Run, pussy boy, it’s what you do best.”
With that, he turned and left. However, he stopped dead in his tracks when I finally revealed, “Harley was ... is my best friend. I love her like a sister. I never meant to hurt her, and I have to live wit’ that every day. You don’t know a damn thing ’bout me. What I go through knowin’ I turned my back on her to make my dreams come true. Except, the only life I’m livin’ is the hell I created for myself, so fuck you.”
Through the swarm of people, I saw Harley walking back into the venue. There was no point in bringing her into this.
At the end of the day, in my life...
I was no good for no one.
And it needed to stay that way.
Chapter 28
“It’s better to burn out than fade away.”
-Kurt Cobain
<>Cash<>
Now: Thirty-years-old
I answered Journey’s phone. I couldn’t help myself. I needed to hear Bailey’s voice, even if it was only for a second.
“Hiiiiiii!” she exclaimed on the other end of the line. “Auntie Neyney, where are you? Are you gonna be at my birthday in three days? Momma bought me my first two-piece pink bikini!” She giggled, and it was the sweetest sound I’d ever heard. “Don’t tell Daddy, he don’t know.”
Daddy.
For just a moment, I pretended like she was calling me that. It didn’t take the pain away like I thought it would.
It hurt, it hurt really fuckin’ bad.
“I miss you so much. When are you comin’ home? Can I visit you in Spain? Daddy says it’s too far for me to go, but I don’t care. I wanna see you. You’re my best friend in the whole wide world. Pinky promise for