the other hand, never had a girlfriend, and I wasn’t gonna start now at thirty.
This only made me more desirable. The tabloids always gave my bachelor status a narrative of ‘Who could tame Cash Motherfuckin’ McGraw?’ Of course, I’d been seen with models, celebrities, strippers, and my personal favorite—porn stars. But it never went past partying and fuckin’. I got bored easily, and no one could hold my attention for longer than a night.
End of story.
Although it never stopped them from trying to get that title. I’d broken so many hearts since I became a rock star, I’d become desensitized toward it. If they wanted to put me up on a pedestal it was on them, not me. I never made any promises other than how many times I’d make them come with my mouth.
I loved women.
They were just as much of an addiction for me as anything else was. Their scent, their soft skin, the curves of their body. I fuckin’ worshipped them.
Until it was time to kick them the fuck outta my bed.
This particular groupie peeked up at me through her lashes, immediately doing as she was told.
“Good girl,” I praised, tucking my cock in my gym shorts.
Gliding her way up my body, she went right for my mouth.
“Fuck no.” I shoved her away and got off the bed.
“Where are you going?”
“To take a piss and a shower.”
“Want some company?”
“Nah,” I replied, grabbing the whiskey off the counter. “I set the trash out in the mornins’.”
She wasn’t a rookie, she knew the drill. Unfazed by my response, she called out down the hall behind me, “Anyone else want to go another round?”
I didn’t pay her any mind, going straight for my bedroom instead. Wanting some much-needed privacy, I locked the door behind me. If I didn’t, my bandmates would barge right in. We had no boundaries. This tour bus was a revolving fuckin’ door to debauchery.
I was exhausted, barely standing upright while I opened the medicine cabinet in my bathroom. Pulling out my pills, I swallowed them down with the bottle still in my hand. Catching a quick glance of myself in the mirror through the course of it.
I looked like shit.
There were huge bags under my bloodshot eyes like I hadn’t slept in months. Truth was, I hadn’t.
Fuckin’ tour life.
Too many drugs.
Too much booze.
Too many women.
My days blended together, and I didn’t even know what day of the week it was. Not a fuckin’ clue.
“Jesus, Cash,” I scoffed out to my own reflection.
Blown away with the man staring back at me. I didn’t recognize him anymore and the truth was...
I hadn’t in years.
Chapter 17
“I love all women. I will never stop. I want every girl who ever lived. I fuck everything that moves, and if it doesn’t move ... we work something out.”
-Gene Simmons
<>Cash<>
“Get your shit together, man.”
Taking a deep breath, I shook my head and grabbed the eye drops off the sink. Squirting them into my eyes before I jumped in the shower. As if it would miraculously wash away my sins. My bad decisions. The same ones I seemed to be making every single day.
Letting the hot water run down my tense back muscles, I tried not to think about it. Leaning my hands and forehead on the cool tile, I stood under the showerhead, soaking away the night.
Incapable of remembering what the fuck I did last night. I stood in the shower racking my brain, trying to put the pieces together of when I blacked out. Alcohol and ecstasy were never a good combination, so I must have been loaded when I swallowed that pill.
Closing my eyes, I stayed under the water until it ran cold and my skin felt numb. It always helped at getting my shit in order for the day ahead. I didn’t know what time it was, but I didn’t hear our assistant Cindy’s voice barking orders at what we were supposed to do yet. Which meant I could crash.
Grabbing a towel from under the sink next, I dried myself off. Cleaning up after I did. There wasn’t a lot of space on our tour bus, and the last thing I wanted to do was sleep in God knows what.
“Cash!” Jude pounded on my bedroom door as I stepped outta the bathroom.
“Fuck off!”
“Bro! We got a problem!”
“If I don’t get some sleep, you’re gonna have another one!”
“Ugh! You’re such a princess! Get your precious beauty sleep, pretty boy! I’ll give you an hour, and then it’s go time!”
I threw a