“Ugh! You made that look way too easy.”
I scoffed out a snicker, taking the bottle outta her hands.
Years of practice.
“I know it’s serious,” I acknowledged. “I deal with it every day. You think there are things I don’t miss, Harley? If I told you some of the places I’ve had to look for a meal, you might question my sanity.”
“Like dumpsters and shit?”
“You’d be surprised what you can find in ’em.”
Her mouth dropped open before she tore the bottle from my hand to quickly stand and start pacing around the room.
“It ain’t as bad as it looks, darlin’. You know me, I don’t take handouts from anyone. One day, Harley, I’ll prove everyone wrong. Startin’ wit’ my old man.”
“Oh, I know it. You’re gonna be the most famous rock star in the world. Cash fuckin’ McGraw. Everyone is gonna want a piece of you. I’ve known that since the first time you picked up a guitar.”
I smiled, loving her faith in me.
“Why don’t you consider goin’ to school? You could get financial aid, get a music degree. Might open some doors for you.”
I was over to her in two strides, snatching the whiskey. “Harley, you ain’t pullin’ this shit on me too!”
“But, Cash...” She sighed. “I just don’t like seein’ you like this!”
“Like what? Wild and free. Livin’ my dream of bein’ on stage? Even if it’s only for a few people. There’s nothin’ like the feelin’ right before I strum the first chord. The lights dim. The audience gets quiet. They all wait for me to take them away. From their jobs, their daily routine, their kids, their bullshit of everyday life. The hustle. The grind. My guitar, my voice, my music has the power to silence it all. Even if it’s only for a few minutes, nothin’ else matters but me. It’s the best feelin’ in the world. The quiet space between chaos and melody. No matter how big an audience, the moment always exists, and I wouldn’t trade it for anythin’.”
She bit her lower lip.
“You know who showed me?”
“Who?”
“You.”
“How?”
“Since the first time I picked up a guitar and started playin’, not havin’ a clue what I was doin’. There you were dancin’, singin’, cheerin’ me on. You showed me how my love for music can be loved by others. You were always there, showin’ me what my music could do for people. You were my first fan, little Miss Harley Jameson, my very best friend. So please, darlin’, that’s what I need you to be right now.”
She instantly pulled me into a tight hug. “I’ll always be here for you, Cash. We’re family. Always. No matter what.”
There wasn’t a doubt in my mind she meant every last word.
Chapter 25
“With every mistake, we must surely be learning.”
-George Harrison
<>Cash<>
“Hmmm,” I groaned, the sun beating on my face.
My hands immediately grabbed my pounding head before I even opened my eyes. Reaching for the covers next, I threw them over my head. This wasn’t the first time I’d drank myself into a fuckin’ stupor, and I was sure it wouldn’t be the last.
Whiskey was a cunt like that.
For a split second, I peeked my eyes open, smelling an overwhelming amount of strawberry and vanilla in the air.
Harley’s scent.
My eyes shot open, and I sat straight up. Experiencing dizziness and nausea from the abrupt movement. I swear on everything holy my heart stopped fuckin’ beating. Coming face to face with my reality.
My very best friend.
Passed out beside me.
Naked.
My body moved on autopilot, jumping straight outta my bed. I threw on gym shorts, hauling ass to the bathroom.
“Aw fuck!” I rumbled, throwing up whiskey, regret, and shame all at once.
Over and over again, I chucked up last night’s bad decisions, and I wasn’t referring to the bottle of Jack.
After what felt like forever, I flushed the toilet and brushed my teeth. Unable to look at myself in the mirror. The remorse was eating me alive.
What the fuck did I do?
I couldn’t remember shit about shit.
Did I use a condom?
Was she on the pill?
Every inch of my body was shaking. My heart was pounding outta my fuckin’ chest, louder and harder with each passing second.
How could I let this happen?
I never wanted the ground to swallow me whole more than I did in that second. Tossing my toothbrush on the counter, I rested my hands on the side of the sink. Desperately trying to catch my bearings.
Why? Why would I let this happen?
I felt like the biggest piece of shit in the world. Harley