didn’t matter how it started, and to be completely honest, I didn’t remember until you brought it up. You know I wouldn’t let anythin’ happen to either of you.”
“I know,” she replied, feeling the weight of my words.
She pulled away, and our eyes connected.
“You been cryin’. What’s wrong?”
“We gotta talk, Cash.”
“What did that motherfucker do now?” I bit, referring to the quarterback.
She shook her head. “It ain’t Jackson this time.”
I nodded for her to come in, closing the door behind her.
Harley and I locked stares. For the first time in all our lives, I saw true fear in her eyes. Showing me everything I needed to know.
“I’m pregnant,” she announced.
The second the words fell from her lips it shattered the world around us. Slicing my heart in two.
“Are you sure?”
She nodded. “It was confirmed by my doctor.”
“Does Jackson know?”
“It ain’t Jackson’s baby.”
Although she said it just above a whisper, it echoed in the small room.
Loud.
Chaotic.
Draining all the blood from my face.
“His team has this rule where they can’t have sex durin’ trainin’. Some shit about needin’ testosterone for the field, and his coach doesn’t want any of them losin’ focus. The baby is yours, Cash.”
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t feel. I couldn’t talk.
I was numb.
“Maybe you should sit down.”
Moving toward the couch, I did exactly that, cradling my head in between my hands.
“Will you please say somethin’?”
With tears in my eyes, I lifted my gaze to her. Expressing the first thing that came to mind, “I’m so fuckin’ sorry this happened. I never in a million years—”
“No.” She profusely shook her head. “I know that. I’m not blamin’ you. We’re both responsible for this, Cash. I’m as much to blame as you are.”
“So what now?”
“I’m still takin’ things one day at a time.”
Roughly, I raked my hands through my messy long hair. Fighting an internal battle of what to say, of how to feel, of what to do...
“Harley, take a look around. I can’t bring a baby into this world, and you’re still in school. We can’t be parents. This is never gonna work out between us. It ain’t fair.”
“Are you suggestin’ we give it up for—”
“No... I was thinkin’ maybe... I mean ... fuck,” I scoffed out. “I can’t even bring myself to say it.”
How could I do this to her? What kind of man was I? What kind of best friend?
Words couldn’t describe the emotions coursing through my body, the turmoil and doubt had taken residence inside of me. It was like nothing I’d experienced before. I would hate myself for the rest of my life for this. But I would hate myself even more for hurting Harley and destroying the illusion she had of me.
A huge sense of loss settled over me.
I didn’t wanna do this.
Don’t do this, Cash. Don’t fuck up the last good thing in your life.
“If you can’t even say it, how the fuck do you think I could even do it?!”
I abruptly stood up. “Jesus Christ, Harley. What the fuck am I supposed to say? I can’t feed myself right now. I can’t provide for a baby I don’t even remember makin’.”
“No shit, Cash. While this baby may not be the product of marriage, it is a product of love. Our best friend love we have for one another. It’s part you and part me. I can’t just get rid of it. I’d never be able to live with myself, and you couldn’t either! Don’t try to pretend like you could go through with gettin’ rid of an innocent life you created.”
I exhaled a large remorseful breath before walking over to the window in the far corner of the room. Contemplating telling her the truth. I wanted to be there for her.
For them.
She was right. This baby was made outta the love we had for one another. But I couldn’t do that to her. I needed to shove my feelings aside and do what was best for her and our unborn child.
It wasn’t me.
Not my life to live.
She loved Jackson. He was devoted to her. He always had been. I wasn’t gonna steal another man’s world. Not when he could give both of them the things they deserved. Clothes on their backs, a roof over their heads, food on the table.
I knew he’d step up and do right by them. Regardless of wanting to be there and take care of my responsibilities, I wouldn’t be able to do it like he could.
He had a stable life.
Money.
Family to help.
I had nothing. I was no