this was our time to shine. I felt it in my bones. From the second we received an email to perform, I knew something big was gonna come from this.
Thanks to Little Miss Thang’s advice, my bandmates and I made amends. We were playing better than ever, preparing for whatever came our way.
Silently praying every night this was the moment I’d been waiting for all my life.
“You know, Harley, a week from now, my whole life could change.”
She smiled, knocking her shoulder into mine. “I’m too old for a pony, Cash Motherfuckin’ McGraw.”
I scoffed out a chuckle, remembering our childhood as I stared out at the ocean. The waves always reminding me of my old man and his love for the water. Surfing was more than a hobby to him. It was who he was, wanting me to love it as much as he did.
Which only ended up becoming the first time of many I disappointed him. Despite the fact I didn’t like surfing, spending time with him in the ocean was still the best memories I could recall with my father.
At one point he was who I needed, but then suddenly things changed, and he wasn’t.
Harley glanced at the side of my face, murmuring, “What’s wrong?”
“Just thinkin’.”
“About your dad?”
We locked eyes.
“You always have this look on your face when you’re thinkin’ about your dad.”
“Oh yeah? What’s the look?”
“Sad.”
Shifting my eyes back to the water, I got lost in the beauty of the night. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky. The sky was calm with soft colors of gray and blue for miles and miles. The gentle lull of the ocean and the smell of saltwater all around us seeped into my senses.
I closed my eyes, stirring lyrics in my mind.
“How can you be everythin’ to everyone, but the man I need ya to be for me?”
“You remember the first time you played your guitar?” Harley questioned, tugging me away from my plaguing thoughts.
“Like it was yesterday.”
“I remember the first time you played for me. The expression on your face, the sound of your voice, the way your fingers strummed the strings... I remember everythin’ about that day.”
“Me too.”
“You wanna know what else I remember?”
“What’s that?”
“Despite the fact I knew in my heart you were born for greater things, it didn’t take away the emotion of feelin’ like I was losin’ you. Thinkin’ I was gonna lose my best friend to music.”
Peering over at her, I stated the truth. “You’ll never lose me, Harley.”
“Promise?”
“Cross my heart.”
We surrendered to the quiet for a few minutes before she added, “Cash, if I felt that way, don’t you think your daddy might too?”
I jerked back, my thoughts racing a mile a minute.
“What I remember the most about that day was how your face lit up, Cash. It was like I was lookin’ at a new boy, one I didn’t know. One I didn’t recognize. This guy standin’ in front of me, playin’ with all his heart and soul. Knowin’ he’d eventually get to experience things I never would. He’d get to see things I’d only dreamt about. He’d get to live a life on his own, where eventually I’d have to share him with the whole world. Out of everyone in my life, Cash McGraw, you’ve always been the guy I’ve counted on to be my hero. You know that, right?”
“I do.”
“And I think your father counted on bein’ yours.”
Letting out a heavy breath, I finally admitted out loud and to myself, “He is, and I hate he can’t see that.”
She winced, surprised by my confession.
“Do you have any idea how much it kills me he’s never come to one of my shows? I’ve spent my entire life tryin’ to stay true to myself, hopin’, prayin’ he would see me for who I am. ’Cuz the man I’ve always wanted to be is him.”
“Cash...” Tears streamed down the sides of her face. “You need to tell him. He needs to know.”
“I wouldn’t even know where to start. Every time I’m performin’, I can’t help but look through the crowd, hopin’ I’ll see him among the faces starin’ back at me. A little part of me dies each time he ain’t there. But he sure as fuck is at all the football games, ain’t he?”
“Oh my God. Is that why you hate Jackson?”
“Nah. Jackson’s a dumb motherfucker, but it ain’t his fault my father supports him more than me. My old man invests all his time into chasin’ criminals. Often treatin’ me like