I ever wanted was for you to show up for me! Instead, you betray me! Your baby boy, your only son ... can’t even look at you! Inside I’m dyin’, hurtin’, ’cuz of you,” I belted out through a clenched jaw. “Everyone loves you, they wanna be you, except your own son ... can’t fuckin’ stand you... Is that what you wanted? What you craved? Son against father, father against son!”
After all these years, all this time, he got to hear what I had to say. Biting back the bile rising in my throat, I was briefly blinded by overwhelming anguish. With tears blurring my eyes, I stared back at him. Searching for the father I still wanted more than anything.
Finishing it off with, “I hope you’re happy ... you got what you wanted ... and all it cost you ... was your son ... ’cuz from now ... until the end of time...” I cried out with tears streaming down the sides of my face. “You’re no one, you’re nothin’, completely dead ... to me! Can you see me? Do you hear me? I hate you ... but beneath it all ... I still love you ... and it hurts...”
I hesitated, whispering, “Just the same.”
Chapter 13
“The best revenge is to live on and prove yourself.”
-Eddie Vedder
<>Cash<>
In a matter of seconds, the good ol’ boys and my family sprang into action. Lucas, Jacob, and Austin ran toward the press before the true chaos erupted and things turned crazier than they already were.
Than I already made them.
Rushing to their feet, they hauled ass toward the cameras. Triggering the cops to do the same.
“No pictures!” Lucas, Harley’s grandfather, ordered as he blocked the photographers, preventing them from taking more shots and recording more footage. Exposing to the world the man behind the title.
“Show is over!” Austin demanded.
“Enough!” Jacob roared.
Snap.
Snap.
Snap.
“Detective McGraw! Can we please get a statement?” a reporter shouted.
“How do you feel about what your son has to say?” called out another.
“You have always been the epitome of a family man! How long has it all been a lie?” several hollered.
“Detective McGraw!”
“Detective McGraw!”
“Detective McGraw!”
I started a fuckin’ frenzy. Just the mere sound of his name caused an adrenaline rush to course through every inch of my body. I stood there in a frozen state of shock with my heart in my fuckin’ stomach.
Waiting.
Anticipating.
Fully aware no good was going to come from my performance.
The questions the reporters were hounding him with didn’t help the situation, just like I knew it wouldn’t. Only reminding me of how much I fuckin’ hated his job. They were vultures, firing question after question as the police force and the boys tried to control the fallout of my actions.
Though, still, my old man hadn’t moved from the spot he was rooted to.
“Please! Have some decency and give my family some privacy!” Ma urged, making me feel like a bigger piece of shit than I already did.
My sisters didn’t help the emotions overtaking my mind, staring at me with the hurt and pain I’d felt for most of my life. Unable to gaze at them any longer, I shifted my eyes toward Harley who was crying without holding back.
It was only then I noticed she was holding Journey’s hand. Little Miss Thang was wiping away her tears, trying to be strong for me in her pretty pink dress.
I resisted the urge to move from the place I seemed to be embedded to as well.
Everything zeroed in on me, and I felt as if I was going to pass the fuck out. For the first time, the high from my performance wasn’t a ride I wanted to stay on. I swear, I blinked, and the press was gone, vanished into thin air. Leaving only my old man and family.
As soon as I saw the Detective of the Decade take a step down the stairs, I knew what was about to happen. In ten steps and five long strides, he was in my face. Before I had the chance to open my mouth, he swung back his fist and coldcocked me in the fuckin’ face.
“NO!” Austin intervened, instantly holding him back and away from me. “This isn’t the answer, man! That’s your son!”
My head whooshed back, taking half of my body with me. Knocked on my ass to the fuckin’ ground, he laid me out without a second glance. Hitting me like a man, not like his son. Even though I expected it, that didn’t take away the sting it caused.
And