in his eyes have hardened since losing his brother, and his square jaw has turned to steel. I’ve always considered Bastian strong, but he’s more filled out now, with added muscle upon his bones and strength in his shoulders.
No one who meets Bastian now could call him a boy. While I wasn’t looking, he turned into a man. And now, there’s a spark in that man’s eyes.
“I’m no fool, Amora.” His voice comes cool as frost, and his nose crinkles as though he’s sampled a new wine only to discover he doesn’t have the taste for it. “If you thought settling down was what’s best for Visidia, you wouldn’t have broken off your engagement with Ferrick. He’s everything your kingdom could have wanted in a king.”
My chest seizes. I know this is my chance to tell Bastian the truth, and yet … I can’t seem to get the words out. I don’t want him to know that there’s a chance to break our curse. I don’t want him to know what I’m after, because I don’t need his opinions. Bastian has too much of a hold on me as it is. If I told him everything, it would mean letting him in. It would mean sharing this journey together.
And I’m not sure I’m ready for that.
“I know you well enough to know that you’re hiding something,” he says. “There’s more to this than you’re telling me. But I’ll play your game, and I hope you give it your best shot with those boys. Because you’re going to be sorely disappointed when you discover that not one of them is me.” With every word, his confidence blossoms. “They’ll never be able to make you feel even half the things I make you feel.”
His pirate swagger snaps back as he steps forward again. One foot. Another. And then his hand is on my waist. At first it’s hesitant, giving me the chance to pull back. But my knees tremble, and I can barely keep standing. The last thing I want is for him to let go.
“And if you find someone who does,” he continues, voice a low growl, “then I’ll stop trying. We’ll chalk half of what you feel for me up to the curse. But the other half? I’m going to call that real. And if there’s anyone out there who makes you feel more than that, I won’t try to stop you from being with them. I want you to be happy. But”—he leans down so that his forehead is pressed against mine, his words brushing hot breath across my lips—“since we’re playing, I’m making a new rule. I’m going to prove to you that what you feel for me is real. Whatever those other guys get to do to try to woo you, I’ll be right there playing along. I get to do everything they do.”
No longer able to tell whether I’m breathing, I ball my hands into fists and press them against the wall so they won’t touch him and betray me.
“Woo me,” I scoff, doing everything in my power not to let him see the influence he has over me. “As if I’m so easily—”
“Amora.” The sound of my name stops me short. “I’ve no family left. My brother destroyed my home, and yet I can’t return to Zudoh to help my people because I’m cursed to you. Your magic is running through my veins, and because I’m not a Montara, we’ve no idea how long I’ll be able to maintain it, or what it might do to me. You are not the only one affected by this.
“As you can hopefully understand,” he continues, “my life has certainly been better. And yet I’ve asked you for nothing, because I know how much stress you’ve been under. Stars, I feel how much stress you’ve been under. I’ve been saving my one ask, and this is it. I don’t need special favors. Keep your secrets, I don’t care. But if I have to go along with this charade, then I want a fair chance. Please. Give me a fair chance.”
There’s no argument for that, no matter how hard I try to find one. As much as I want my space from Bastian, he’s right that he doesn’t deserve the way I’ve been treating him. It’s not his fault we’re cursed. None of this is his fault.
It’s mine.
Now though, I have a chance to fix my mistakes. I have a chance to fix everything. But if that’s going to happen,