don’t hear what he says, just that he says it through sobs he’s trying to stave off long enough to choke out the words.
“You might be the biggest asshole I’ve ever met,” Ferrick tells him, though his tone is light. “But you became my brother, and I’m glad for every minute we had together. Except for the one where you cut off my arm.” And then he turns to Vataea, his smile fraying at the seams. “I’m sorry, for everything. I never should have lied to you.”
“That day on Kerost, you were the one to come to me.” Her voice is the softest whisper. “You were the one to save me. I’ve never thanked you for that.” She bends, pressing her lips firmly to Ferrick’s. His arm wraps gently around her head, threading weak fingers through her hair.
When they separate, he presses his cheek against Vataea’s and says something, the words too soft for me to catch.
There are tears in Vataea’s eyes when he leans back, though she doesn’t cry; she looks more like she doesn’t understand what’s happening. Like something here isn’t right.
And it’s not. Humans are too fragile. None of this is right.
I can’t imagine the strength it must take, but he lifts his head enough to press a kiss to my temple next, hard and firm.
“Listen to me. I don’t want you to mourn me, Amora. I want you to live for this kingdom and for yourself. I love you, and … I’m sorry for what I have to do.”
“I love you, too,” I say, because if there’s one thing that needs to be said, this is it. I will not let him leave me as Father did, with too much sorrow between us. But only after I say it do I catch the rest of his words, and chills send me spiraling.
I look once more at his hand, clutched tight around the scale.
“Ferrick—”
“This was my final adventure.” Each of his words takes more effort than the last, hands fighting tiny spasms. “But promise me you’ll have a thousand more.”
The scale shatters before I can stop him. Ferrick slams a hand into both my and Bastian’s chests, and my veins flood with fire as Ferrick’s restoration magic fills me, reaching into depths that shouldn’t be possible. Reaching into my soul and making it whole.
Magic stirs from what was once hollowness within me, and I am myself again—Amora Montara. Fully, solely, me.
I open my eyes to Ferrick, whose tears fall freely now, no longer trying to stay strong. I reach for him, breathless, but my hands go through air.
A moment later I wonder … Who was I even reaching for?
And whose blood is it that stains my hands?
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Spring is here, and change has come with it.
Placid wind greets me as I stand on my balcony, staring past the winding rows of rainbow eucalyptus and far down at the waiting sea. It glitters like a thousand crystals in the sunlight, the most magnificent blue.
“This is a big decision.” Behind me, Bastian sets a steady hand on my shoulder. “I hope you’re proud of yourself.”
I close my hand over his, enjoying the warmth that diffuses through me at his touch. Because this time, he has no sway over me. Finally, we’re free to be our own people.
Today, Bastian wears the same striking ruby coat he wore when we first met. It reminds me of the truest version of him—a roguish pirate with a hunger for adventure. It reminds me of the man I first fell for, and the one I hope to have many more adventures with. If only we can get through today.
Though the sight of him in that coat fills my heart with warmth, it can’t distract me from the lingering sadness weighing my bones. A sorrow for something I only wish I could explain.
As glad as I am to have things returned to the way they were with Bastian, I can’t ignore the gaping hole in my memory from the day both of my curses were broken. I can’t ignore the palace bedroom across from mine that’s sat empty for a week, lined with rapiers and herbs, with a closet full of emerald-green clothing. I can’t ignore how my eye catches the door every time I walk by, waiting for someone to go in or come out, though I can’t for the life of me remember who that should be.
No one can remember who it should be.
Something happened the day Blarthe was dragged into the sea.