before that I was strong, but I held nothing on this power. This feels impossible. Gods-like.
I want this magic, forever. This power. This ability of the gods. It’s mine.
It’s mine.
It’s mine—
“Amora?” My body goes rigid as Ferrick crouches beside me. Sweat and ash lick his brows and dust his face, though it’s the worry in his eyes that I focus on. “What is that?”
The snake scale’s no longer warm—it’s scorching. I gasp and set it before me on the deck when it burns my palm, wincing at the pain. Ferrick’s presence steadies me, and I realize with dawning horror that those thoughts were not entirely my own.
This magic is powerful, dangerous.
“It’s a scale from the godwoken.” Drawn to touch it again, I clasp my hands together and press them tightly against my lap, resisting. “This is what’s going to fix everything.”
When Bastian reaches out to touch it, I slap his hand away on instinct, going still as I do. Even Shanty and Vataea are watching now, and everyone recoils with surprise. Again I clasp my hands together, fingers twitching. “I … I’m sorry. Just, please, don’t touch it.”
Bastian’s brows knit with worry, but he withdraws his hands. “What were you thinking, going after that alone? You could have been killed.”
Dragging my trembling limbs to a stand, I wordlessly scoop the scale and cradle it close again. There are no words for the things I saw, tonight. For the things I experienced.
In my hands, I hold the chance to bring Father back. I have a chance to bring back everyone who died that night on Arida last summer. All I have to do is take it.
Even if it means Visidia must wait longer to be fully restored, and I’m forced to find another way to break my curse.
Even if it means losing my entire crew.
My body trembles from the weight of the power I cradle in my arms, and the anticipation of what’s to come. “Set our course to Arida.”
“That’s it?” Vataea’s honeyed voice is too bitter on the tongue. I level my stare, though it’s impossible to match the ferocity in her eyes. “Bastian’s right. You snuck out in the middle of the night after multiple assassination attempts, didn’t tell a single one of us, and nearly got yourself eaten by a giant snake. Are we your friends, or are we your subjects? Because I almost died for you, Amora. And I can’t understand why you’d put yourself in that position without saying anything to the people who care about you.”
I clutch the snake scale closer, leaning into its power. It calls to me even stronger than a siren’s song, and I want nothing more than to obey it. I just don’t know which path to choose—what could have been, or what could be.
“You are both,” I tell Vataea gently, unable to speak any louder. “I’m sorry, but wherever I drag you along, there’s always danger waiting. As a friend, I’d like to protect you, and would hope that you trust me to do that. But as your queen, I’m asking you to obey.”
Vataea turns her head away, fists clenched, while Bastian steadies a hand on my shoulder. There’s tension in his jaw. “Just tell us if you’re all right.”
I try to focus on the magic pulsing against my fingertips. On the possibilities of the future I could give Visidia if I turned back time. If I had more help. If I had Father back at my side, my people would have more trust in their ruler. The fire serpent had meant to give me a moment of peace with Father, but all that’s done is make me yearn for a true reunion even more.
If I brought him back, I could sleep again, no longer plagued by the faces of the dead watching over me.
But the cost of this reality is growing more profound with each passing day. And to answer Bastian’s question, no, I don’t know that I’m all right. Perhaps I’m not. But I can’t waste this time dwelling when, one way or another, everything’s about to change.
I think of the all-consuming emotion of standing hand in hand with Bastian as we performed soul magic. Even now, I feel as though our insides have been cracked open and exposed to each other, raw and bleeding. And yet I can’t look away.
I don’t want to look away.
Because in opening myself to him, I know the truth now. Bastian Altair feels like home, and I never want to leave.
I take