most people.
Obviously. I’m awesome.
On a day when I didn’t think I could laugh at all, she’d made me do it twice.
Somehow, I figured that was her intent.
Have a good day, Hudson. We’ll talk later.
Are you still pissed at me?
I shouldn’t have sent it. It wasn’t the time. She had every right to be.
Her reply came almost instantly.
Yes.
But less than I was yesterday. Which was less than the day before.
How long until that less becomes zero?
Don’t push it.
Three laughs in one day, since I was still counting. Triple the amount I thought possible.
I dropped my phone to the desk, went and snagged my coffee mug off the floor, and got to work.
Dad was going to need my help in the upcoming months, and I needed to stay sane enough to give that to him.
After everything he’d given me over years, it was the least I could.
14
Lilly
The church parking lot was almost full when I stepped out of the Uber I’d ordered to bring me to the wedding. Hudson offered to drive me, but since he was Brandon’s best man, he had to arrive early for pictures. We sent texts through the week and saw each other for dinner a couple of times, but I was swamped with school, preparing for finals, and he was double busy at work with preparing for David’s upcoming treatments that would start next week, and working on twice the number of projects to cover for any of David’s absences from work. I didn’t mind the distance, but I missed Hudson more than I thought humanly possible. I knew he was giving me time to come to him, but every time I thought of taking that first step, my chest tightened with fear. What if I did open myself up to him and ended up burned again?
On top of that, with David starting his treatments next week, the wedding, which should have had everyone filled with excitement and joy, was muted. While Brandon had returned to the office this week for a few days, at no point did he seem excited about his wedding.
Poor Jenna. And Brandon. It was becoming clearer why David had held these things back, trying to put it off for as long as possible.
He’d wanted the holidays to be a time of celebration. They’d had enough sadness around them. And the fact he’d wanted me to have a holiday season filled with happiness and love made so much more sense now.
All of us had suffered enough. He hadn’t wanted that pall cast over another Thanksgiving or Christmas.
My heart squeezed painfully, and I rubbed my chest, brushing my fingers over the new necklace I’d bought for the wedding. Angie took me to the mall last week, an event considering we’d had to take Mikey and Vena with us. Accessories were a splurge I hadn’t allowed myself to fiddle with but for Jenna’s wedding, I wanted to look my best. Sure, the earrings and necklace and bracelets were simple fake gold bangles and chains from Target and nothing excessive, but the dress had been another splurge.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been to a wedding and knowing how important the Valentines were in the city, I figured this would be a massive and elegant affair. Luckily, I’d found both my dress and shoes in the clearance areas of Von Maur, a department store at the mall. The black dress fit me like a glove. The front neckline made a straight slash across my collarbones, the sleeves were sheer and flared out at my wrists in a bell sleeve. The back was cut so low it demanded I go braless. The rest of the velvet material clung to my body perfectly, cutting off a couple inches above the knees. The confidence I had in how good I looked wearing the dress did very little to settle my nerves.
I stared up at the ornate Methodist church where Jenna had told me she grew up attending.
On trembling heels, from nerves and lack of practice walking in such high spikes, I carefully made my way up the stone steps. My purse was clutched to my front and my coat I’d brought with me but didn’t wear was draped over my arm. A rush of heat wafted from the vents as I entered the church’s lobby, and I inhaled the warm scent of roses and gardenias, the flowers Jenna had decided on. Despite her joking a month ago about switching to blue, there were gorgeous floral arrangements filled with