my veins. It chilled me straight to the bone, past that to my marrow, aimed for my soul.
“It’s Melissa,” I choked out, although she already knew that. “My sister.”
She stumbled back. Her hands flailed in the air until she barely stopped herself from falling by gripping the edge of the couch.
“Your… sister?” Tears poured from her and her face paled until she was ghost white. “Like sister sister?”
It felt like I was killing her. Pain. remorse. Sorry… I was hurting her and it’d all been because of my choices. I’d never felt like less of a man.
“I know—”
“You have a sister?”
My hands fell from my hips. To my sides, up to my face. I had no idea how to stop the tumultuous emotions or find the words.
“I had a sister,” I rasped. Melissa’s death still slashed through me like a finely sharpened blade.
Lilly sniffed, swiped tears from her cheeks and it killed me. Absolutely killed me to not be able to be the one to comfort her this time. Killed me that I was the one causing them. Was it possible for your heart to shrivel and turn to stone inside your chest right before it splintered to a million tiny pebbles?
“You never told me about her,” she croaked, through tears and brokenness and damage I had caused. “Never. Not once. You let me sit here, cry about my brother.” She made a choking sound and stepped back, hands flying to her face and her eyes widened.
“Please—just… can I explain?”
“You let me… you let me tell you about her! You sat there, in your truck, while I cried over this girl and you said nothing.”
“I know. I know, Lilly, and it killed me to let you do that but…”
“There are no ‘buts’ for this. Oh my God! What a fool. What a goddamn fool I’ve been to just trust you.”
“You can. I swear—”
“I can’t!” She whipped around, snagged her keys. Tears streamed down her cheeks and her hair was a mess.
“Don’t go. Please Lilly.” I went to her then, stupidly. Tried to stop her by placing my hands on her shoulders in the very hopes she’d collapse against me, allow me to absorb her pain and we’d get through this.
She shoved me away, crying out with such despair it rattled my bones.
I was a problem solver. Not a drama creator. I didn’t enjoy inflicting pain and I definitely didn’t like not knowing how to fix something.
“I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry. About all of this.”
“Why?” She pushed her fingers across her cheeks. “Why would you do this to me?”
There’d been no way I’d expected to love her so much. Not at first. Who the hell was I kidding? The way I felt about her was why I tried so hard to stay away.
“There’s so much more to this.” I might as well have swallowed a dozen razor blades for as painful as it hurt to speak. “Please. I know you’re upset. I get it. Can you please… please come with me to Dad’s so we can explain everything?”
She sniffed away tears and squeezed her eyes closed. For a moment I thought she’d agree. But then she rolled her shoulders and another whip of pain twisted her features. “David. He knew. And Brandon?”
I swallowed thickly. She took my silence as an answer.
“Jenna?” Her voice was rising, growing in panic and desperation. “Did you all think it’d be fun to build everything on a goddamn lie!”
She fisted her hands, leaned in close enough I could smell a hint of coffee on her breath as she shouted in my face.
I took every moment of it, unflinching, unwavering because I deserved it.
If she decided to pummel me with her fists, I’d take every punch.
There was no answer I could give her that would soothe her. I knew it as deeply as I knew how much I’d just hurt the first woman I’d ever loved.
“Lilly.” Her name was a prayer, falling from dry lips and a parched mouth. “Please don’t go. Don’t leave. Not like this.”
Forcing her to stay wouldn’t help a damn thing. My eyes burned with the loss of her even though she was still standing in front of me.
But that was only physically.
With every passing moment, I saw the grout and bricks and cement and all the walls I’d spent so long carefully taking down being erected between us.
“You gave me everything,” she said, her voice ragged and ripped and torn. “You gave me everything on a platter, all of it based