was going to take more time.
13
Hudson
Here I was, already lying all over again to Lilly.
What I said earlier about why I woke up wasn’t true. Not at all.
I woke up with Melissa’s pained whimpers echoing in my ears and the scent of her chemo drugs burning my nose.
Cancer.
How many men had to watch not one, but two, of their family members battle this in as many years?
Life wasn’t fair. Not for me. I thought I was on the edge of getting everything I wanted, and of course fate had to play a cruel trick and kick my feet out from under me.
My dad was my rock. He was my closest ally and my fiercest supporter. He was the guy who’d lived enough for dozens of men and came equipped with the wisdom of double the amount.
And he was sick.
I shoved the eggs I’d fried up into my mouth but they tasted like dirt and death. Across the table from me, Lilly was quiet, but I could tell by the glances she gave me she had questions. So many questions to ask me. I didn’t want to answer any of them.
I planned on getting ready and then heading to Dad’s so I could talk to him more, get more information so I could research, make sure he really did have the best doctors working for him. The best possible plan for success mapped out. If he was willing to go through initial testing and radiation without telling any of us, what else was he hiding?
I’d demand access to medical records so I could research them with a fine-tooth comb. Hell, maybe his doctors were wrong. Maybe he was fine and radiation worked. Maybe there was a mix-up and they read another man’s X-rays. Not that I wanted anyone else to die, but as long as it wasn’t my old man, I could live with it.
“If you think any louder, you’re going to give me a headache.”
I jumped at Lilly’s voice. Shit. I’d practically forgotten she was there as my thoughts ran away from me.
“Sorry.” I shoved another bite of eggs into my mouth, followed by toast.
“Did you know when you scowl, you get this really deep line in your forehead? Right here?” She drew a line with her fingernail across her forehead. I got distracted by her impish grin. The fullness of her lips and the gleam in her eyes.
She was sexy. I knew she hadn’t forgiven me, and I knew I hadn’t earned it back. I also knew her trusting me again would take longer. But to be on the receiving end of that look, I’d work my ass off for it for as long as I needed to.
“I do not.”
“Do so.”
I tore off a chunk of toast and tossed it at her. It fell right down the gap in the front of her sweatshirt and she gasped before digging it out.
“What are you? Five?”
“No.” Horny. Pissed. Scared. In love with this woman but with everything that’d happened it was not the time to say it. “I’m just… lost,” I admitted and shook my head as if a simple head shake could wipe away my problems.
The gleam in her eyes flattened into worry. “Is your dad coming in to work today?”
“Yeah. He’ll be there as much as possible. I’m sure of it.”
“It sucks. All of this really sucks. But it sucks even more it’s happened right before Brandon’s wedding.”
“Shit. I didn’t even call him last night.” Fuck. I swiped a hand over my unshaven scruff and grimaced. How had I not thought to see how he was doing? Dad was the only dad Brandon had ever known until Jenna’s family welcomed him into theirs with open arms. “I don’t know if he’s planning on being in this week.”
Shoving the last bite of toast into my mouth, I grabbed my plate and tossed it into the sink. “I need to get ready.” The list of things I needed to do was growing exponentially with every passing second.
Lilly gaped at me, and her toast froze halfway to her mouth. “Now?”
“Yeah. Now.”
“Hudson, it’s barely six.”
“I need to get into work. Call Brandon. I’m sure he’s up.”
“The world isn’t going to explode if you wait an hour. Take your time.” She came to me, bringing her half-emptied plate. It was possible I went a bit manic on the amount of eggs I gave her.
My chest tightened, gripped in a fist until it ached to breathe. She didn’t understand.
If I didn’t move, I’d go crazy.
“I