a mess of curls hung limply past her shoulders, as if even her hair no longer had the energy for the day. “I was worried when you disappeared.”
I shoved my hands into the pockets of my jeans. “I needed a minute.”
“So you came here?”
To Melissa’s room. The last time I was in here with Lilly I was so damn pissed, just learning of Dad’s diagnosis. It was less than a month ago and yet so much had changed since then.
That day, I didn’t know if Lilly would ever come back to me.
I didn’t know if she’d ever trust me again, and I certainly didn’t know if I’d be strong enough to let her weather this storm with me.
Now she was here, loving with me with all of her heart and giving all of herself to me.
Unashamedly.
Stronger and more steadfast than I ever could have imagined, despite her desire to run when things get hard.
We’d work on that. Someday.
For now, she looked as tired and worn out as I felt, and I needed her.
I stretched out my arm and wiggled my fingers. “Come here.”
She came before I finished the request, easily sliding her hand into my palm and she kept coming until her chest was pressed to mine, her head perfectly snuggled below my chin. I hugged her tightly, sighing. Lilly wrapped in my arms had the gift of wiping away the day’s stresses and worries in a single breath.
I could have blamed her coconut shampoo if I didn’t know it was simply everything about her that made her so special.
“Everyone is gone and your dad is tired. We should go home.”
Home.
Yeah, we should.
“I love you,” I muttered, lips pressed to her hair.
She squeezed me tighter. “I know. I love you too.”
“I’m scared as hell about my dad.”
Her hug became so tight it was at risk of cutting off my breathing. “I know that too,” she said quietly, so quietly I almost missed it. “But we’ll get through it.”
“We will.” And I wasn’t talking about Dad and me. But Lilly and I. Because I was learning that to be strong meant allowing people in your life who could be strong when it wasn’t possible enough for you to shoulder all the work.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
She loosened her hold on me enough, her hands clasped together at my lower back but putting space between us so she could tilt her head back and look me in the eyes.
“There was a night, a night shortly after we here, that you whispered something to me.”
“What was it?”
“You were holding me, right before you fell asleep, and you said, ‘don’t let me push you away.’”
“Oh Lilly.” I kissed her firm and quick. “I don’t remember saying that, but I swear to you I won’t. At least, not again.”
“Why did you say it?”
“Because I’m an idiot.”
She sighed, not liking the answer and who could blame her. Letting her go, I took a few steps back, aware I just did exactly what I said I wouldn’t and put space between us. Scrubbing my hands through my hair, I then wiped one down my face and let out a heavy breath. “Because that’s what I do, when I lose family. Brandon’s always gotten pissed that I shut down and take everything on, closing myself off from people.”
She turned and kissed the palm of my hand and then leaned into my touch. “I think that was why I got worried when Nina was in your office and then when you didn’t tell me about dinner with her. I got scared, thinking that was how you were going to push me away. And you’d been so abrupt that morning.”
We’d already talked about this. I’d already apologized, but maybe we hadn’t talked enough.
“Oh honey. I’m so sorry. I’ll work on it.” I pressed my forehead to hers, closing my eyes and inhaling her sweet scent. Coconut shampoo mixed with everything feminine that made Lilly sweet and sensual.
She shivered beneath me and then slid her hands up my back.
“I won’t push you away. Ever. I love you too much.”
“I won’t run from you again. Ever. Because I trust you.”
I trust you.
“Fuck. Lilly.” Her admission hit me with a harder punch than her telling me she loved me.
And now she was mine. This warrior.
I kissed her slowly, teased her with nips at the corners of her mouth, sliding my tongue across the seam of her lips. I pulled back, let her come toward me before I returned with more teasing, more pecks