saw only moments ago were now pushed back and she stood straight and tall.
Our eyes met for a brief moment before she yanked her gaze straight ahead of her and up, counting and watching each floor as we rose.
She was beautiful, so effortlessly so, but she’d taken to darkening her makeup again as she’d done when she worked at Judith’s. It was her armor, I realized, hardening her to outside forces where for weeks she’d softened it and let her natural freckles shine. Yet, even with her armor, she was still gorgeous. Her coat had slipped open as she slid her hands into her coat pockets. Pain-filled blue eyes and her hair in a straight silky sheet, she’d never looked more beautiful to me in her black and white polka dot top and black dress pants. Red flats her only color.
God, I wanted her. Loved her. Would do anything to repair the damage I caused, even if it meant more time and fleeting glances when I could steal them.
The elevator stopped, bouncing us softly and she stepped out as soon as the doors opened. But as she did, she turned back, gaze doing a quick scan of my body and life returning briefly to her cheeks before she finally, finally, met my gaze.
“Hudson—” she started and pressed her lips together.
I saw it all in her eyes, the force of her emotions hitting me like a sledgehammer. And yet, at that last moment, eyes softened and her lips curled up. She shrugged as if she couldn’t help herself in loving me but she still couldn’t bear the sight of me, either.
She loved me.
It was enough. All I needed to see.
“Have a good day, Lilly,” I said, and as the doors closed, I grinned.
I pulled out my phone and before the elevator reached my floor, sent her two texts.
You look beautiful.
I’m sorry.
Hours later, after lunch, after I’d spent half of the day trying to focus on new projects and possibilities on the south side of Des Moines, but mostly thinking of Lilly, my phone lit up. Her name sparkled on my screen like the world’s most treasured Christmas present. I grabbed it so fast, my phone bounced and fumbled in my hands until I settled myself.
I’d like to talk. Tonight?
My thumbs flew across the keypad faster than I’d imagined possible.
Name the time and place. Happily.
Another hour passed before she returned with a time and her place. A grin pinched my cheeks before I stared out the windows of my office.
She invited me to her home. Her safe place, where she had to know I would never want to hurt her.
Tonight it was.
What did you bring in a peace offering to the woman you loved and had betrayed and lied to?
I’d romanced Lilly with flowers and romantic dinners at one time, showering her with the attention she deserved as well as elegant foods and flowers she’d never be able to afford on her own. But it was the cupcakes and sparkling cider I knew she’d appreciated the most. Small acts that brought her pleasure.
Tonight, I arrived empty-handed with only my explanations and apologies as gifts, and I hoped like hell, along with everything we’d shared previously, it’d be enough.
It took ten thousand beats of my heart once I knocked to hear the click of the lock and the rattle of the chain from the other side. And then Lilly was there. Gone was her white polka-dotted top and dress pants and shining hair. In front of me was a woman who was tired, bone-weary, dressed in simple gray leggings and a large teal sweatshirt with the words PINK stamped in white across her chest.
Her smile faltered once I met her eyes and she tried again, although it shook as if she’d been practicing that smile for hours.
“Hey,” she said, so softly and brokenly. All I could imagine was pulling her into my arms and holding her until she gave me every ounce of that anguish etched into her features. “Come in.”
I too had discarded my suit and tie and dress shirt once returning back home. After an hour of running myself ragged on the treadmill, I showered and threw on jeans and a Rolling Stones T-shirt. Both were worn and faded, washed hundreds if not more times, and the ultimate pieces of comfort I could find.
Once I stepped inside, Lilly shut the door behind me and readjusted her hair that was now pulled up at the top of her head until it wobbled