my lips. Because the thing was, despite my efforts, despite keeping myself busy all day … I hadn’t been able to get Ethan out of my mind.
‘You two are so cute,’ Lucy continued. ‘You know, love like yours only comes around once in a lifetime, if that.’
I bit my lip. What if … What if a love like the one I wanted only came around once in any of my lifetimes? What if …?
Shit.
‘Girls! The boys and cars are here!’ Miriam’s mom called out. And suddenly I was rescued from my thoughts and caught up in the buzz of the night – the photos, cars, guys turning up, and our all-important entrance to the Pavilion. Any time I had a second to myself, someone interrupted it, expecting me to smile. And I did. Wanting to be who I was supposed to be in this world. And I was.
Mom and Dad performed perfectly, playing the happily divorced couple, leaving not first but in the first third of departing parents. I would thank them tomorrow. Dex’s parents were not so compliant and it took him a while to finally load them into a car and get them out of there, which gave me a little breathing space to get my head right.
By the time we settled into each other’s arms on the dance floor, I was confident that this was the right thing. I was doing the right thing. Ethan was … It didn’t matter. Dex was my constant. He cared about me and wanted a future with me. That’s what I needed to concentrate on.
‘Can you believe school is over?’ he said, as we danced.
‘No. It’s surreal. But good surreal. I’m looking forward to starting college.’
He nodded, pulling me closer to him. ‘I’m looking forward to being able to spend the next couple of months alone, with you.’
The lump in my throat wouldn’t go away. So I smiled and hugged him so he wouldn’t see my face.
‘Are you ready to get out of here?’ he asked.
This was it.
I could be sure about this – about my place in this world. I couldn’t base my choices on someone else, just because I couldn’t stop thinking about what it was like to be wrapped in his arms. No. I was the master of maintenance. I couldn’t have changed so much in such a short space of time.
My Wellesley life was a great life. I couldn’t live in a reality based only on, ‘What if?’
I slid my hand down and took hold of his. ‘Absolutely.’
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Wellesley, Monday – Graduation Night
Dex drove, since he didn’t drink, and I gave him directions to the hotel I’d arranged in the city. We only got lost twice, which for me was pretty good.
When we pulled into the Liberty Hotel, his face was pure delight. ‘Nice. I’ve always wanted to check out this place. You know it used to be an old prison before they turned it into a hotel,’ he said, pulling into the valet area.
I hadn’t known that. And now that I did, it really wasn’t helping my state of mind.
We walked to the front desk hand-in-hand. While we checked in, I couldn’t stop my mind spinning with all the things Ethan had said to me. Was it all trickery?
Out of nowhere, I gasped.
Dex regarded me quizzically and I forced a smile. He went back to talking to the hotel receptionist, who was speaking with a strong and lilting foreign accent.
My mind-spiral continued. Ethan had said he loved me. Even by simply admitting that, he had risked everything. He was supposed to be part of the medical staff. He was supposed to be counselling me, not loving me. Surely there was no method of therapy that would condone or encourage that. But there was something off – I was sure of it. Ethan was keeping something big from me, and it made me doubt everything more than I already did.
Dex carried on his conversation with the receptionist while still holding my hand. Eventually he squeezed it, drawing my attention. ‘Oh wow, that’s great. Hey Sabine, Annika here has upgraded our room to a king suite.’
Hooray.
The fair-haired woman bobbed her head. ‘Kylla.’ She nodded again. ‘I mean, yes,’ she corrected.
Kylla? Where had I heard that before? What language was that?
‘Babe, do you want to wait here? I’ve just got to get our stuff from the car,’ Dex said.
I nodded, still looking at the receptionist. ‘Um, what language was that?’ I blurted as soon as Dex had left.
She smiled