prove it to him? Suddenly a steely determination settled over me. My eyes darted from the list to Ethan and back.
‘Sabine?’
This was a chance. My chance. I looked at the clock, swallowed back the midnight nerves and nodded.
‘What language is the last one?’ I asked.
Ethan just looked at me.
I rolled my eyes, but didn’t waste much time before getting back to memorising the list.
The minutes flew by as I read and re-read each question. But when there was only two minutes to go, I couldn’t take it anymore and I dropped the list, my hands and body shaking all over.
I really didn’t want to throw up in front of him. Again.
‘Is this normal?’ Ethan asked, sitting up, watching me too intently for comfort.
I took a deep breath to stop from being sick. ‘When I’m awake for the Shift,’ I tried to explain.
‘Is it involuntary?’
‘It’s fear, okay!’ I snapped, embarrassed.
He shut up and moved back in his seat.
I closed my eyes and tried to recite the questions to myself, using them to distract me. After a few rounds I realised I should have Shifted by now and opened my eyes. I was still in the clinic. Ethan was still sitting in front of me, watching as closely as ever.
Shit.
I looked at the clock. 12.04 a.m. How can …?
I looked at Ethan again. His expression was intrigued and … nervous.
I glanced at the clock again. 12.05 a.m.
‘So,’ he said casually. ‘Do you have my answers?’
I was so confused. This had never happened before. Oh my god, what did this mean? What in the hell was happening to me?
I glanced at the clock again. The clock Ethan had just brought me. Suddenly it clicked and I turned to glare at him.
‘You son of a bitch!’
‘Sorry?’ he responded, playing dumb.
‘Oh, you heard me. You changed the time! It’s not midnight yet! You tricked me.’
His eyes widened, but he tried to cover it up by acting suspicious. ‘How do you know that?’
‘Because I didn’t damn well Shift! How long?’ I shrieked, because right then, I didn’t care if he believed me or not, didn’t care one bit. What I cared about was the frickin time! ‘How long, damn it? Do you think this is a game? My life? Do you have any idea how awful it is, getting ready to Shift? Shit! What’s the time?’ I was losing my breath, grabbing at my hair, trying and failing to hold myself together.
Ethan looked horrified at my outburst. ‘Okay, okay. I’m sorry. It was a lousy trick. I just … I thought it might help.’
I stilled and turned a cold stare on him, speaking low and level. ‘Ethan. What. Time. Is. It?’
He pulled a watch out of his pocket. His face was stark as he looked back in my direction.
‘Sabine, I –’
But it was too late. It was midnight.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Wellesley, Tuesday
Tears streamed down my face the instant I Shifted to Wellesley. The nausea that usually struck me when I was awake for a Shift took a backseat to the overwhelming sadness.
The betrayal.
I pulled my pillow to my chest and buried my face in it to smother the gulping sobs.
Why me? How could Ethan trick me like that?
My body trembled as I considered my cruel reality. I couldn’t take it anymore. The freakishness of my existence was bad enough, but the loneliness that constantly tortured me was far worse. I had thought there might be hope. That maybe I could make Ethan believe me.
But that wasn’t going to happen.
He didn’t want to believe me. He wanted to disprove me. I wouldn’t be so stupid again.
I finally managed to calm myself down, knowing that if I broke into all-out hysterics I’d risk waking Mom. But the emptiness stayed with me even after the tears went away. I slid further down into my silk sheets, curled around my pillow and tried to go to sleep. But it was futile. Even after what he’d done to me, I couldn’t stop thinking about Ethan.
Why had it suddenly become so damn important that he believe me? Especially since my future in that world was becoming increasingly less … likely.
The thought made me gasp.
There. I’d admitted it.
And … it was true.
The only thing holding me to my Roxbury world now was Maddie. My parents had pretty much disowned me. They’d probably even be relieved. But Maddie …
Should I try to see her? Explain somehow? I shook my head at myself. I couldn’t do that. There was nothing I could say that would make it