disappoint.
When Mom saw me, she was so delighted she forgot all about being unhappy with me and shooed me away when I offered to help with the cleaning up.
A multi-level victory.
It would have been the perfect opportunity to visit Miriam and Lucy for a gloat session. Or better yet, Dex. I was certain he would forgive my strange behaviour last night when he saw the new me. But I was dead on my feet after the three-hour makeover and still had a hangover migraine. Bed was the only option.
Lying back on my silk sheets in the early evening, confidence on high, I decided on my next move.
It was a risk.
But if I could get through this final test, I would have options I’d never thought possible. I considered setting an alarm to wake me up before the Shift, but I was so tired I couldn’t be bothered. Waking up groggy in this world or the next, it made little difference right now and at least I wouldn’t have to go through the pre-Shift jitters.
The transition turned out to be the smoothest in days. I’d been fast asleep in my Wellesley world when I Shifted back to Roxbury. Normally the conflict of a sleeping mind being thrust into an alert physical body was disorienting to the extreme. But I was so exhausted, I was almost numb to the change. Post-Shift I simply registered my still-broken arm, the cuts aching on my leg, belly and arm, and then rode the adjustment period, dropping off to sleep soon after in my grey flannel sheets.
I’m sure I could’ve slept for hours, but instead my sleep was seriously interrupted as, several frantic times, I paid for my sins.
The laxatives had kicked in.
By the time I had no fluid left in my body, I crawled back into bed with every intention of spending the entire day sleeping it off. Maddie, however, had other ideas.
By mid-morning she was bouncing persistently on the end of my bed. At first I mumbled for her to go away and buried my head under the blankets, but then I remembered that today was … well, today.
I had things to do.
‘Binie, come on, get up! Mom says you have to come down and see her before she goes to work.’
I groaned, rubbing my eyes and sitting up. Everything hurt.
‘I didn’t think she was working today,’ I muttered.
Maddie just shrugged and took one final jump on the bed, landing on her butt beside me. ‘Said she’s going in with Dad to do something.’
‘Oh,’ I said, still sifting through my thoughts. ‘What are you up to today, kiddo?’ I tried to keep my voice light, but I couldn’t look after her today.
Maddie slumped. ‘Mrs Jefferies is picking me up.’
I gave the top of her head a rub and kissed it. ‘You’ll be okay. You always have fun in the end.’
She squirmed. ‘Yeah, but I want to stay here with you.’
‘I’d love that too, but I have to go out today and do some stuff. We can hang out tomorrow after school if you like. Maybe go to the park?’
Maddie never missed a beat. ‘What stuff do you have to do today? Are you going to be home tonight?’
‘Not sure, kiddo. I might be staying out.’
She slid off the bed and trudged towards the door.
‘Love you, Maddie,’ I said lightly.
She couldn’t help but turn and give me a little smile. ‘Love you too, Binie.’ Then she leapt into my arms and gave me a Maddie specialty death squeeze before she was gone, her feet bounding loudly down the stairs.
I dropped my face into my hands and sighed.
‘What are you doing, Sabine?’ I whispered, but just as quickly I rubbed my hands up and down, as if I could scrub the thought from my mind.
I had to know.
After an awkward, arm-wrapped-in-plastic-bag shower, I reapplied plasters to last night’s handiwork, dressed in a black cotton skirt, longer than usual at just above my knee, and a fitted burgundy T-shirt with long sleeves. It took twice as long to get ready with my banged-up wrist, but I managed to work out most things – even my standard heavy-handed serve of eyeliner and mascara, which worked well with my new black shaggy cut.
I sat down on my bed to start grappling with my boots, but picked up my bag instead and found myself holding the plain white box of pills that would be my final test. I cringed when I remembered dropping my bag and how badly things could’ve