live on the edge. If breaking glass was involved, all the better.
‘No.’
And then I put the first part of my plan into action.
As I’d expected Ethan didn’t turn up to work on Sunday night either; I’d heard a nurse talking earlier that day in the corridor, saying he wasn’t well. Still, it felt like a blow to my increasingly fragile heart, and it further weakened my hopes that he might be the one to explain things to Maddie after I was gone.
After dinner, I did everything I was supposed to do. Showered, fake-socialised with the other tenants of Crazyville, acknowledged nurses, tried to be cooperative. I even hung out in the patients’ lounge, pretending to watch a pointless game of ping-pong before heading back to my room, only to endure another random room search by Macie and Mitch. I passed with flying colours.
Once the lights were out, I was ready to move. Final room check always came fifteen minutes after lights out, and Ethan had somehow gotten me exempted from the other nightly spot checks to facilitate our outings. I was taking a chance those rules still applied.
I got dressed quickly, jumped back into bed until the final room check was done, and then I was up and digging around in my underwear. Disgusting, I know, but if there’s one place no man or woman will ever check it’s the bottom of your panties. Luckily most of my panties had a double-layer gusset, providing an awkward yet effective hiding place – perfect for a key.
I stood in front of the window grilles and used the key I’d copied from Ethan’s set to let myself out. Once on the other side I relocked the security grille and closed the window, hoping that in the event I was caught they wouldn’t know how I’d escaped and I might be able to keep the key hidden for another day.
Capri was waiting in her mom’s beat-up van, which looked as though it had more rust than paint. It was truly a wonder she got that thing moving without pushing it.
I ran across the parking lot and jumped into the passenger side.
‘Hey.’
‘Hey, yourself,’ Capri said, pushing her almost-dreadlocks back from her face. ‘Nice escape. Was the ass-out-first part for my benefit?’ She’d had full view of my window.
I laughed. ‘Cheers. And yes, the ass in the air was all for you.’
‘Figures,’ she quipped and then looked ahead. ‘Where to?’
‘Home first and then I need to make another stop.’
‘Not exactly what I had in mind.’ Capri looked out the window. She was hesitating. I didn’t blame her. She had just helped spring me from the loony bin.
‘I’m so grateful you’re helping me, Capri. I know I’ve said it like a million times, but I’m sorry I lied. Being here … it wasn’t exactly something I wanted to publicise. Things have been pretty screwed up of late.’ I held my breath and waited. The worst part was, I was truly sorry – even if my apology had been wrapped up in more deception. I was about to make her my unwitting accomplice.
‘Just tell me you aren’t really crazy or whatever?’ she asked clumsily.
‘I swear to you, I’m not insane.’ I smiled, trying to help her relax. ‘Well, unless you count the part where I’m friends with you.’
It took a moment, but she cracked, leaning across and nudging me before turning the key in the ignition. It took half a dozen tries before the engine fired up, but finally we were on our way.
Standing outside my house, it struck me that until now I hadn’t known if I’d ever come home again. The way things had been going, not to mention the way I felt about Mom and Dad, I’d stopped thinking of it as home. But seeing Dad today had changed that a bit.
Actually a lot.
Maybe it was knowing that the end was near. I’d wanted it so much, my chance to be normal. But all Ethan’s talk about the price I’d have to pay to get it … it wasn’t all crap. At the very least, I wanted to make some kind of peace with this life before I said goodbye to it.
The house was silent. Lights off. I looked at my watch – just before 11 p.m. I didn’t have time to waste if I was going to get everything done and be back by midnight.
We scaled the tree and, balancing precariously, Capri helped me jimmy open my bedroom window. Yet again I was thankful