grew sour and even a touch threatening as he added, ‘And she’s my girlfriend.’ He passed the waiter money for the check.
The waiter smiled, unperturbed. ‘Of course.’ He glanced at me again and left the table.
‘What did he say?’ Dex asked, trying to hide his irritation at not knowing. But I couldn’t be bothered placating him.
‘He said it was such an advantage to know another language. That a person could take the skill anywhere once they had it.’ I stared into space.
The waiter was right. Languages could go anywhere.
For the life of me, I couldn’t say what movie Dex and I saw. I can’t remember watching any of it – I was too busy trying to stay afloat in my flooded mind. Dex didn’t seem to notice. Or perhaps he did and didn’t know what was wrong. Either way, he drove me home afterwards and I did my best to keep up with the small talk. By the time he pulled up in front of my house it was starting to get dark and I felt guilty that I hadn’t given him the kind of day, or attention, he’d obviously envisaged.
He walked beside me, unusually silent, to the front door.
When I stopped and turned to him, he tilted his head. ‘Are you okay, Sabine?’
I nodded. ‘I’m fine. I just think I’m still a little tired after the party on Friday night and … I don’t know, nervous about graduation and finishing school.’
He exhaled. ‘Yeah. Change can be daunting. But there’s no point holding onto things just because it’s scary to take the leap and move on. Once people do, I figure they rarely look back. You just have to know when the time is right.’
The thing was, I totally agreed with what Dex was saying. I just didn’t know what that meant for me – or my lives.
I leaned in towards him and he responded, closing the distance and giving me a kiss. It lasted to second number eight before I morphed it into a hug.
‘On the other hand,’ Dex said cheekily, ‘sometimes it’s important to hold onto the good things. And you’re my good thing, Sabine. I’m never going to let you go. I’m looking forward to moving on … to our future. There are some things I’ll be more than happy for us both to say goodbye to.’
I was glad we were hugging so he couldn’t see me cringe. I knew he was talking about our ever-nearing graduation night; that this was his way of telling me he hadn’t done ‘it’ before. I’d generally figured that out for myself. We’d been together for two years and Dex wasn’t the type to cheat. He’d been understanding and patient and I wanted to give him all of me, but thoughts of us fumbling through our first time flashed into my mind and I felt my brow furrow. Then, out of nowhere, the image in my mind changed – the person in the image changed – surprising me.
I pushed the thought aside. That was not what I wanted. I don’t know how Ethan had wormed his way into my head, but he wasn’t going to stay there. He was not part of my plan – of any plan. Now, more than ever, I had to stay the course.
And that meant I had to finish the tests. There was no other option.
I pulled back from the embrace and looked into Dex’s eyes. ‘Me too,’ I said, because it was time to start saying goodbye to some things.
And that’s when I decided that graduation night and being with Dex was exactly the right time to start the rest of my life. Because if the final test went the way I was starting to believe it would, then the day after in Roxbury … everything was going to change.
Mom was setting the table for dinner. Just two places which was a relief. I didn’t think I was up to seeing Ryan or Lucas tonight.
Mom was a great cook, but she preferred desserts. So we snacked on grilled cheese sandwiches followed by one of her famous peach tarts. Baking was one of the only things that really soothed Mom, so I always made sure I ate every last crumb and told her how delicious it was. If I could manage it, I’d even back up for seconds just to see the twinkle in her eye.
‘So you and Dex are spending a lot of time together lately,’ Mom hinted.
I shovelled a large spoonful of tart into