slip his arms around me. He didn’t intertwine his legs with mine.
He didn’t open his eyes.
He didn’t tell me he loved me.
He just stayed still on the table.
Lifeless.
His body turning colder by the second.
I breathed, “I-I need y-you,” into his skin, waiting for a response, but I didn’t get one.
There was only silence.
And a breeze that wisped past us, carrying the sour smell of his blood.
Thirty-Three
“I got here as fast as I could,” Emily said, shutting the door to the private room we were in at the hospital. She rushed over to the bed and crawled in next to me.
Fiona was on my other side, a place she hadn’t left since we’d run toward each other in the hallway.
Before I knew my entire world had collapsed.
Emily threw her arms around me, the basin wobbling on my lap, the nausea causing bile to come up every few minutes.
“Oh, baby,” Emily said in her softest voice, holding me against her body. “I can’t believe this. How in the hell can I make this better for you?”
“I’ve been asking myself the same thing,” Fiona whispered.
“What happened?” Emily asked her.
I was relieved she didn’t want me to share the story. One that had taken some time to even listen to, where I was unable to stop screaming long enough to hear Fiona tell it.
“Caleb—”
“Nooo,” I cried from the sound of his name, my eyes closing, my body feeling so heavy from the Valium Dr. Montgomery had given me.
Emily leaned back to look at my face, my head then falling against the pillow. “Hey, it’s okay. We’re going to get through this.” My chest tightened to the point where I couldn’t breathe, and she looked at Fiona and said, “Go on.” Emily’s hand found mine, fingers clenched around my palm.
“He must have gone out for a run early this morning before he was supposed to come pick her up.” As Fiona paused, the drips began falling down my cheeks again, only a short break since the last round. “A woman blew through a red light. She must not have seen Caleb in the middle of the intersection because she hit him at full speed. There were several witnesses; each had the same version of the story.”
Emily’s fingers clasped mine even harder as Fiona continued, “The paramedics worked on him until he arrived here, and that’s when my team took over. We did everything, Em. Literally everything in our power.” She shook her head, her stare dropping, as though she had failed me. “Nothing worked.”
I squeezed my lids shut, feeling the burn behind them. “If I hadn’t come to work last night or if I hadn’t agreed for him to pick me up this morning, he would have gone running at a different time, and then—”
“Stop it,” Emily said, shaking my shoulder. “Don’t you dare blame yourself for this. You didn’t cause this accident. You’re not at fault here, do you hear me? Don’t put that guilt on yourself. I won’t stand for it.”
I couldn’t stop the sob from breaking through my chest, its intensity wrapping around me, driving every feeling to the surface. “Emily!” I shouted, the pain gnawing in a whole new way.
She lifted my back off the bed, holding me against her again, her arms circled around me. “Oh, my Whitney.” She rocked me back and forth, a rhythm that reminded me of the ocean and the waves.
And Tampa.
“Fuck,” I wept. “I-I can’t, Emily. I can’t handle th-this. I ne-need him. I-I need him now.”
“Baby …”
I found her shoulders and dug my nails into them, needing someone to bear some of this agony, gripping like I was about to fall off a cliff. “We were o-only at th-the beginning of our story.” I buried my face into her sweater. “We had-hadn’t even gotten st-started.” Ice was moving through my veins as the shaking took hold of me. “And n-now, it’s over.” I tried to find air, my lungs empty, my chest too caved to fill it. “The d-day after I-I finished moving my things into his co-condo.”
Fiona was rubbing my arms, trying to put warmth back into me. “I’m so broken for you right now and so, so sorry this happened.” Tears spilled from her eyes as fast as they flowed from mine.
The ache was moving into my head, surrounding my throat, dipping as low as my fucking toes.
“He’s not coming back,” I whispered, having to remind myself that this wasn’t just a horribly tragic dream. That the body I had lain next