softened as she looked at me. “You did amazingly well back there. How do you feel?”
“Sore,” I exhaled. “And overloaded.” I paused. “That was a lot.”
She pushed the keyboard out of the way, making room to sit. “But I know for a fact that’s the longest you’ve stood since surgery and definitely the fastest you’ve walked.”
We both knew why I’d hauled ass; she just didn’t say it.
“And never once did I see pain on your face. You hid it well.” Her hand went to my button-down, playing with the collar. “Maybe it was good to get your mind off your back for a little while.”
The pain had been there; it just hadn’t gnawed until I got into my office and needed to take the weight off my legs. Thoughts of work had been doing that instead, the heaviness still consuming me.
While I stayed silent, she glanced around the room, swinging her legs under the desk. “Just as gorgeous as I imagined.”
She climbed off and walked around the large space, looking at the framed pictures of Boston’s top athletes—who were clients—the art I collected, and the bar in the back, next to my closet and personal restroom. She ended the tour with my diploma from Tufts University and the certificates I’d achieved over the years before standing frozen in front of the oversize windows.
“Wow. Just wow.”
“The view?”
“All of it, Caleb.” She turned to face me. “Your office—which is bigger than my entire apartment—this building, the hundreds of people who work here”—she pointed at the photos and my collection of certificates—“you.” She shook her head, her brows high. “You weren’t handed this office; you worked your tail off to get here since you were nine years old. How many people can say that?”
“You can.”
I watched the emotion pass through her eyes as she realized what I was referencing, and she made her way back over to me.
“I hope you’re proud of yourself when you look at these walls—the same pride Alfred, your parents, and I feel when we look at you.”
I squeezed my hands over the armrests, the leather worn from where my fingers used to lie during meetings, in an office I’d spent more time in than my condo. “I don’t know how I feel.” I glanced past her, taking inventory, things I hadn’t paid attention to in so long—and not because of my absence. “But I know I was moving so goddamn fast; I didn’t have time to appreciate much.”
“And you lost yourself.”
There were those words again. The ones that hit home every time I heard them.
She sat in the chair across from me. “You’ve reached the stage of your life where you need to find yourself again and figure out what’s best for Caleb.” She pushed herself to the end of her seat, resting her arms on my desk, her chin on top of them.
I’d already caught my breath, but as the truth in Whitney’s eyes stared back at me, I found it even harder to inhale. “You’re right.”
“I know.” She smiled. “Now, get to work and don’t mind me. I’m just going to sit here and gawk at my ridiculously handsome boss.”
Fourteen
Several weeks had passed since my visit to Hunt Financial. Each morning that followed, I went in for a few hours, trying to make a dent in my workload, setting boundaries with my parents and staff, searching for what felt like the best in this new phase of my life. Alfred would then drive me home, where I’d meet Whitney. I had released Veronica from her duties around the same time I went back to the office, no longer needing overnight care. A conversation with Whitney needed to happen next, and while we had been on the phone last night, I’d mentioned that we had to discuss her schedule. I’d put it off long enough, but I fucking hated the thought of letting her go professionally even if that meant I was getting healthier.
When I arrived home after half a day, she was in the kitchen, a cooler already packed on the island, asking if I wanted to go for a picnic. I gently took her into my arms, her body feeling unusually rigid, and I kissed her, telling her that was the perfect idea. With help from my walker, we went to a nearby park, finding a bench in the sun.
Between us, she placed containers of olives and a spread of cheese and crackers, rolled prosciutto and roast beef. I grabbed a little of each, making