that? And you’d better not tell me it’s because you’re worried I can’t afford it on my own. I am poor as hell—we both are—but we always seem to find a way to make it work. I will on my own, too, even if that means finding a smaller place.”
“No, that’s not it.” I continued to shake my head. “I’m just not ready to let this go.”
“Honey—”
“Emily, I can’t. Not yet at least.” I knew another encouraging talk was about to roll out from her mouth, and I didn’t want to hear it because I wasn’t going to change my mind. “Caleb came into my world so unexpectedly, and as amazing as our relationship is, it’s still something I have to get used to.” I adjusted the pillow, fixing the placement of our arms. “But there’s so much more on the horizon. I have to make some serious decisions about my job and where my career is and where it’s going to take me. I just can’t handle everything at once.” My chest was tightening again. “Things with Caleb moving a hundred miles per hour is one thing, but everything is going that fast, and I’m overwhelmed.” I swallowed, pushing through the rock that was lodged in my throat. “This is the part that I want to take slow.”
“You know you could live in Siberia, and aside from being in different time zones and freezing all the time, nothing would change us, right?”
I nodded.
“You’re my family, Whit. It doesn’t matter where you are or who you’re shacking up with.”
Another tear fell. “I know.”
“Well then, I accept your plan and your hefty donations each month.” She used her sleeve to wipe the newest drips. “And I have all intentions of taking over your closet and dresser, and I think we should put that in the lease.”
I laughed, needing that so badly, and I sat up and hugged her. “I love you,” I whispered against her shoulder. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m never letting you go.”
“We can blame it on the asshole at BU who thought it was a brilliant idea to house a loudmouth from Boston with an angel from Vermont. A real bastard he was.” She squeezed tighter. “You’re stuck with me for life, woman.”
Within a few more breaths, my chest began to relax, the tears stopping.
I didn’t know how, but I knew this was all going to be all right.
She pulled back, her hands still on my shoulders. “Now, can we forget all this serious talk for a minute and order a pizza and some peanut butter cookies and get lost in reruns?”
“You read my mind.”
Thirty
“To our first official night together at your new place,” Caleb said, clinking his beer against my glass of wine while we sat on the large sectional in the living room.
“I’ll definitely cheers to that.”
He’d opened the sliding glass door, letting in the breeze, hints of fall already thick in the air. He’d also put on the gas fireplace, setting a mood, and I tucked the blanket around our legs and cuddled into his side.
“I love it here,” I said, resting my head on his arm.
I hadn’t waited the three months to move into Caleb’s. Instead, I’d used the little time off I had over the last few weeks to slowly transfer my clothes and cosmetics, leaving everything else for Emily. Now, there were tiny reminders of me all over the condo, like my purse sitting on the barstool in the kitchen, a small section of his closet filled with my clothes, my products in the shower and more on a tray by the sink. Caleb had even offered to redecorate, change the black decor to a color less masculine. Maybe when I gave up my lease next year, I would agree to that, but for the time being, I just wanted to get used to calling this space home.
Just this afternoon, while Caleb had been at the office, I’d finished bringing over the rest of my things. When he finally arrived, there was dinner waiting, a whole spread of sushi from a restaurant he loved down the street. I even made a centerpiece for the table out of flowers I’d bought at the bodega. From our text exchange earlier, I had known it had been a rough day for him at work, so I just wanted him to feel happy when he walked in and to celebrate what we considered my true move-in date. And even though