I wasn’t the guy who was going to fill her with bullshit and renege.
“But you promise I’ll see you again?” When I didn’t immediately respond, she added, “Say the words, Caleb. I need to hear them.”
“Yes.” I nodded. “You will.”
She stood on her toes and wrapped me in a hug, clinging to the back of my shirt with her hands.
“You need to be careful out there,” I said. “Those villages aren’t Mass General.”
“Of course.”
I held her so tightly that I wasn’t sure she could breathe. “If I can’t be there to protect you, I need to know you’re going to be all right.”
“I’ll be fine—that I can promise.”
As I captured her lips, I felt a rattle in her arms and a quiver in her navel. “Baby, you’re going to do amazing things for those countries. I’m already so incredibly proud of you.”
“I wouldn’t have had the courage to go if it wasn’t for you. And aside from this”—she touched the spot over my heart—“that’s the biggest gift you’ve given me.”
I lifted her fingers, kissing each knuckle. “I had Alfred put something in your bag. It’s small, nothing extravagant.” I kept her hand up to my face, the softness of her skin brushing my lips. “Since your journal was filled with cities you wanted to see, I gave you one that’s for the places you’ll be visiting. Write about your experiences, the beauty you see while you’re there.” Something began to chew away at my stomach. “Maybe, one day, I’ll get to read those words.”
“Caleb …” She clutched my shoulders and buried her face in my neck.
“I don’t want to let you go.” Emotion was clawing up my body. “I want to kiss you tomorrow morning while you’re sleeping on my chest and sweep your long hair off your cheeks.” The feeling reached my throat, burrowing there, not going any further. “And I want to cook dinner for us in the evening and have you climb on top of me after, giving me that beautiful body of yours.”
“Oh God,” she cried.
I loosened my grip, reclining her back so I could take in her eyes. “I love you, Whitney.”
The tears reached her chin and weren’t slowing. “I love you.” She held me tightly, her whole body now shaking.
I cupped her face, studying a gaze I knew as well as my own. “When I met you in the emergency room, your brown eyes were the only things that gave me hope.” I pressed my nose to hers. “And when I look at you now, that’s all I see.”
“I pray that hope is strong enough to get us through this.”
I kissed her one final time, and in a voice that burned, I said softly, “Good-bye, Whitney.”
She shook her head. “I can’t say that back to you; it hurts too much.”
She gathered her things that Alfred had placed on the curb and stepped toward the terminal. When she was only feet from the door, she turned around, watching me with eyes that watered. Her hand lifted into the air, and she waved, blowing me a kiss before she headed into the entrance.
“Don’t go,” I whispered as she walked through. “Whitney, don’t leave me.”
But she continued, disappearing through the tinted glass.
I backed up until I felt the SUV behind me, my focus never leaving the entrance, waiting for her to come through it and rush into my arms again. I searched the faces of everyone who passed by, hope building each time until I realized they weren’t her.
I didn’t know how long I stayed there, but at some point, I climbed into the backseat and closed the door, my eyes still on the same spot.
“Would you like me to take you home?” Alfred asked.
“In a minute. I want to see if she changes her mind.”
I continued staring.
Hoping.
“Caleb,” Alfred said, “I don’t think she’s coming back.”
I slammed my hand into the seat in front of me, gripping the leather, shaking it. “But I love her, Alfred! I love her, and she’s fucking leaving!” I banged it with my fist. “Goddamn it!” The emotion finally rose above my throat, burning as it fell from my eyes.
Alfred squeezed my arm. “I think she might have left you something on her seat.”
I hadn’t noticed the folded piece of paper with my name written on the front. When I opened it, there was the list of goals she had made when I got out of the hospital. We’d checked off every line, accomplishing each one during our time together.
Except for the