covered in dust cloths. His ugly hand-me-down recliner. The dining room table and chairs his parents had bought. Although I didn’t walk down the hall, I was sure our bed was still there, collecting dust like everything else.
Tears streaked my face and my breath caught in my chest as the pain reignited.
Using the wall by the fireplace to hold me up, I saw a photo lying on its back.
“I don’t even recognize these people, Hudson. It’s like neither of them exist anymore.”
“Lex, you’re allowed to change.”
I drew a lungful of musty air, knowing he was right, but that didn’t erase my shame or the embarrassment I had for the mess I’d left behind. “I never wanted to be here after that day but didn’t have the strength to let it go, either.”
Hudson paced behind me as if in that place he was forbidden from touching me when it was all he wanted to do. “Why didn’t this all go back to his parents when he passed? You were only twenty-two.”
I never imagined it would come out. Especially not to him, like that, and not while we were standing right in the middle of it all.
“Oh, because we were stupid kids in love and one weekend…” My voice broke, but I had to get it out. Once and for all. “Brenden had a race in Jacksonville, and he convinced me we should go a few days early, so I took a long weekend off from school. When we got to the beach our first night, he told me he didn’t want to wait anymore. That he wanted to marry me the next day.” I laughed, remembering how excited and goofy he had been about all of it. “I can’t totally blame him though. I didn’t want a big wedding. I just wanted him. So the next morning, we went to a walk-in chapel and walked out husband and wife.”
I put the picture back on the ledge and turned to face Hudson. He tried to cover it for my sake, but the surprise was painted all over his handsome face.
“He raced,” I continued. “He won again. He got offered a spot on the circuit. One step closer to big time. So, knowing how busy he’d be, we came home and decided to keep what we’d done a secret until we knew we could plan a reception and set some dates. My parents would have killed me. His family didn’t really care either way as long as he was happy. In fact, they’d given him their blessing to elope.” I grinned, feeling the burning in my eyes, when I met Hudson’s gaze. “But the very next weekend, he went fishing…and you know the rest.”
I’d never told a soul, and saying it out loud felt like both a confession and a betrayal.
My shaky fingers covered my mouth, and Hudson’s face was totally blank.
“I was married for eight days. With school, I didn’t even have time to change my name. I made his mom and dad swear not to say anything. I gave them money from his insurance policy to pay for and make the arrangements, but I insisted they only refer to me as his fiancée in the paper and at the service.” What a coward I had been, but I’d also been so damn lost. “It was just too much to deal with.”
He stared at me as if I were a stranger, and that hurt too, but I deserved it.
I’d lied to everyone I knew. I’d pushed the truth aside because it was more than I could handle. More than I could bear. More than I could ask anyone to help me sort out.
No one could fix it—not even Hudson. Not even if I’d given him the chance to try.
The weight of it hadn’t been that heavy in so long, and just like it had six years ago, it felt as if I were being crushed all over again. Yet somehow, this time, it was different too.
Before, it had been my sorrow dragging me under.
Now, it was my guilt.
Sharing what had happened didn’t make it any better, and I wondered if I’d made another massive mistake. The thought of that made me weary and sick to my stomach.
“Hudson, I want to go home.” I sobbed into my palms. “Please?”
I could feel my legs getting weak; the urge to crumble was overwhelming. But before I did, he swept his arm behind my knees and lifted me up into his embrace. I cried against his