me.
Still, I didn’t tell him to stop.
Were we about to ruin everything? Would there ever be a way to go back to the way things had been after this?
Hudson leaned in and then paused. Eye to eye, I could see that he was as nervous as I was. He was doing this for both of us, and for us, I could at least meet him halfway. And a saying from our youth came back to me. Where we go one, we go all.
I lifted up onto my toes, letting him know I was all in.
He let out a short exhale and then crushed his mouth to mine. He didn’t go easy on me, didn’t hold anything back. Instinctively, I tipped my head one way and then the other when he deepened the kiss, mingling his tongue and lips with mine. It was just enough wet. And just enough breath. And just enough Hudson to pull a whimper from my chest.
As if the sound were a shot fired at a starting line, he hoisted me up into his strong arms and placed me on the edge of my sink, never breaking our connection.
My legs wrapped around his waist and the sexiest groan I’d ever heard poured into my mouth.
All thoughts of whether it was right or wrong were drowned out by my hammering heart. We kissed and touched and held on to each other like it was life or death. His calloused hand climbed my thigh and then palmed my ass as he came even closer between my bare legs. My fingers tangled in the longer hair he had on top, and when he moved the kiss from our mouths to my neck, I was lucky to be sitting. Had I needed to rely on my knees, they would have buckled under the weight of it all.
Licking and sucking at my skin, Hudson pressed his erection into my thigh, and fantasies I’d buried in the back of my mind of him doing that very thing when we were teenagers surfaced.
Had I wanted this all along?
“Ahh,” I panted as he gently bit my earlobe. Hearing his breathing against me sent fire up my spine.
I wanted more, and that was exactly why, with a hand against his chest, I pushed him away. It didn’t take more resistance than that before he broke our contact and took a step back.
We stared at one another, catching our heaving breaths. Hudson’s hand smoothed over his jaw and then covered his mouth. The muscles in his forearms flexed and he slowly wiped his lips.
“I have to go,” he said, his voice thick, finally breaking the silence.
And just as quickly as he’d barged into my house, he was gone.
I felt like a piece of paper that had been torn into a dozen pieces, and each of those scraps represented one of the emotions I felt. Every time my mind wandered back to what had happened in my kitchen, they all scattered in the wind.
How could one kiss have fucked me up so much?
Part of me had assumed that if anything like that ever happened, it would snap me out of this unfortunate crush. Like it would confirm we were only meant to be friends. That what I had felt was just because I’d had such a long dry spell.
Never in a million years had I expected Hudson’s kiss to awaken my entire body. Seriously, I’d been kissed. I’d kissed many. But I’d never been so consumed and swept up in a moment like we’d shared. Then again, what had he ever done poorly—aside from his drunken sexual encounter with Lauren?
That thought only led me back to the what was I thinking kissing Hudson corner of my mind. He had a child with one of our friends. He was best friends with my brother. If anyone ever found out, they’d lose their ever-loving minds.
“You’re so fucking dumb, Alexis,” I repeated for the hundredth time. Scolding myself for letting it happen while deep cleaning my house had taken up most of my morning. The other part of my morning had been spent showering and brushing my teeth. Anything I could do to scrub away what I was sure had been a huge mistake.
But as the conflicting voices in my head had done since the moment it happened, I’d somehow found my way back to Why Do I Want To Do It Again Land?
I needed fresh air.
Needed to do something big to take my mind off it. Off his hands cupping