hard to deal with, okay?”
I remembered that week too.
It was the first time Brenden had vacationed with us, so Mom and Dad strongly urged us to sleep in separate rooms. Hudson had also chimed in how he thought it was a good idea and offered to share his room with Brenden. The memory of sneaking through the halls and waking Brenden without waking Hud was still vivid in my mind. I’d quietly opened the door and tossed M&Ms at my boyfriend until he woke up.
After all that, we still didn’t do anything my parents wouldn’t have approved of, but the thrill of doing anything in secret was enough. We laughed and talked and kissed all night long at the end of the boardwalk and snuck back inside before anyone woke up.
That was a good memory though and nothing to cry about.
“But you ended up liking him,” I said.
His face softened, and his brow relaxed. “I did. Is that why you’ve been—” Choosing his words, he ran a hand over his cleanly shaven chin. “Well, you’ve just seemed different this weekend.”
My breathing quickened like I was about to jump off the pier. I couldn’t just come out and tell him.
What if he laughed at me?
“I’m just working through some stuff.”
“Damn it, Lex. How can I help you if I don’t know what the problem is?” Typical Hudson.
Knowing he wasn’t going to give up, I stood and gathered my blanket. My peaceful, quiet morning was over. I was back to being the pain in the ass everyone expected. Otherwise, he was going to nag until I couldn’t take it anymore.
“You don’t have to help me. I didn’t ask for help.” I started to walk to the wooden planked path, but he caught hold of my arm.
“Wait.”
I shrugged out of his grip. “Stop. Would you please quit touching me?”
I froze, sure my words had come out too strongly. But it had been almost torture being around him half naked for the past day. Him with his broad shoulders and perfect tan. Strutting around, taller than everyone else. The way his board shorts hung on his hips. The bulge that need not be mentioned. His chest and stomach hot enough to make a nun break vows.
I’d hit my limit.
“Is that what this is about? Me touching you? You told me to forget about it. So I did cross a line?” He paced in the sand, scratching his hair. “Fuck. I’m sorry, Lex. I feel like an ass. You shouldn’t have to deal with that shit from anyone, least of all me.”
I felt guilty for hanging him out to dry. What he’d done wasn’t that bad, and then there was the other thing.
My chin tucked to my chest, I stared at a tuffet of grass and whispered, “I liked it, Hudson.”
His stomping around came to an immediate halt, and he dipped low to catch my eyes. Hudson’s were the size of the wheels on the Chevelle.
“What did you just say?” he asked slowly.
I swallowed my pride in the name of him not thinking he’d taken advantage of me, and then I nearly swallowed my tongue as I forced more words out of my mouth. “I said, I liked it.”
He leaned back and squinted, his jaw hanging open. “No fucking way,” he breathed. His reaction was all I needed to know about where he stood.
So I did what any embarrassed woman would do after confessing she enjoyed when her brother’s best friend touched her.
I lied.
“I mean, it’s no big deal. But I’m pretty sure I warned you about waving that big dick energy around. I guess I’m just more hard up than usual. Hopefully the date you set me up on this week is a winner, because I am thirsty and it’s making me go a little cuckoo.” My index finger circled my ear and I made a wild face at him. “Anyway, it’s not you. I’m just a live wire right now.”
He was like a sand sculpture, but blinking at me.
It was time to get out of there, and I needed everything pancakes like never before. I stepped backward to the walkway—only tripping over my feet once—and then said, “So yeah. If you could just keep your hands to yourself, that would be great. ’Kay? Okay. Yeah.”
Then, much like I’d swum away from him after the sunscreen incident, I ran to the house like a little bitch. I was learning avoidance was kinda my forte.
The rest of the day was awkward, but at least on