at times. But he was getting a pool if I had to dig that thing in the middle of the night, one shovel of dirt at a time.
“Just think about it, Cal.”
He shook his head. “No. No pool. Final answer.”
I lifted my hands in what he probably assumed was surrender. “Okay. Okay. But you have to break the news to Vanessa.”
He dropped his head back and stared up at the ceiling. Oh, yeah. He was going to need divine intervention for that conversation. While he let that sink in, he rubbed his forehead with the tips of his fingers.
Meanwhile, I glanced at my inbox.
Saved by the hellion.
I clicked on Lex’s latest email with the subject line reading: I’m still waiting on my quote, asshole.
“Your sister is a lunatic.”
He huffed at my understatement. “What did she do now?”
“She drew up this crazy blueprint of a stupid cat condo she wants to put in her guest bedroom.”
“Like a cat tree?”
“No. Although it does have three stories, two balconies, three bedrooms, two baths, and a cat den. She also wants these tandem bubble window porthole things that go through her exterior wall so they can—and I quote—work on their tans. And it also has a pair of porch swings.”
It did make me laugh though, because her design was meticulously professional and included all the measurements I’d need. I supposed she had learned a thing or two in design school, because barring how absurd it was, her prints were impressive.
Cal chuckled. “You think that’s bad? She sent me a photo while I was gone of her and the cats with a text message that read: I’m up to my eyeballs in pussy. Hope you are too.” He shook his head. “It wasn’t what I intended to use my international data plan for, but it was my fault for telling her I got one. Over the course of the week, she sent me sixty messages and at least a dozen pictures and videos.” He shrugged and grinned. “She’s nuts, but I guess that’s why we love her.”
He wasn’t wrong there. Being best friends with Cal meant dealing with Lex’s personal style of insanity for well over a decade. I was a trained professional.
While Cal rattled off random stories from his honeymoon, all talks of the pool temporarily forgotten, I half listened and half put together an estimate for Alexis’s cat condo. Sure, I quoted all top-grade materials including quartz countertops and bamboo flooring, I even added gold leafing to the ceilings, bringing the grand total to over seventy thousand dollars.
Don’t worry. Before I hit send, I made sure to deduct her Friends and Family discount of fifty dollars. I was a real giver like that.
Her text reply was so fast that I wasn’t sure how she’d had time to even download my proposal.
Lex: Seventy Gs?! Have you lost your board-cutting, lumber-yard-loitering, power-tool-crazed ever-loving mind?
Me: Sticker shock? Cat mansions aren’t cheap, Kid.
Lex: Being a CEO has gone to your head. You egocentric, price-gouging whoremonger. What exactly is the point of having a contractor for a best friend?
Me: Well, obviously my stunning good looks and flawless wit. Why else?
Lex: Stunning? Flawless? So humble. No wonder my cats hate you.
I chuckled and clicked the reply button when Cal’s voice broke through my thoughts.
“And then a gang of iguanas swarmed our room, grabbed Vanessa, and dragged her into the woods to be their new queen.”
I leaned back in my chair and stared at Cal. “Wait, what? Whose queen?”
He shot me a glower. “Oh, good. I have your attention again.”
“Sorry, Lex was just—”
“Lex is always just fill-in-the-blank-with-something-ridiculous-and-crazy with you these days. I swear, you two are like an old married couple at this point.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Of course we’re closer now. You abandoned us and spent the last six months planning a three-ring circus with Vanessa. For real, man. I was shocked she allowed you to attend your own bachelor party.”
He arched an eyebrow incredulously. “You mean the bachelor party you invited my sister to? Let me tell you, there wasn’t enough eye bleach in the world to end my suffering after watching my Lex tuck dollar bills into a stripper’s thong with her teeth.”
I barked a loud laugh. “Okay, first off. She wasn’t a stripper, nor was she wearing a thong. She was a bartender who danced on the bar for one song. You were just too damn busy standing outside, talking to your fiancée on the phone, to see the part where Lex took