“Are you okay?”
I wrap my hand around her nape and take claim of her lips. I kiss her in gratefulness. I consume her as my form of thanks.
Silver wrenched me from the water, not only now, but also ten years ago.
My chaos.
My damnation.
27
Silver
“I’m off!” I run down the steps, juggling my bag and the containers.
“Darling,” Helen calls after me, carrying my thermos. “You forgot the tea you made.”
“Oh, right. Thanks, Helen. You’re the best.” I hug her and slap a loud kiss on her cheek.
I feel like a cheater whenever I’m with Helen or with Mum. Why can’t I have both mothers?
She waves at me as I step out of the house. “Be careful, darling.”
“And you go write.” I usher her inside. “Deadlines, Helen. Deadlines.”
She smiles, joy sparkling in her eyes. “I’m going, I’m going. You’re worse than my agent.”
I wave at her again, grinning as I place my overnight bag, the thermos, and the food I spent the entire morning making — or rather, helping Helen make — in the passenger seat of my car.
When I’m about to head to the driver side, Papa’s car comes to a slow halt near mine. Derek gets out to open the back door, but Papa beats him to it.
Running to him, I wrap my arms around his waist. “Papa, have you had a successful party meeting?”
“Aside from Cynthia challenging every point I suggested?” He strokes my hair. “Sure.”
“I’m sorry.”
“That’s just her and she’ll never change. I’m starting to think she’s double-crossing us using the Labour Party.”
“You know she’d never do that. Your principles run in her veins.”
“Only when I don’t voice them.” He watches me. “Are you going over to hers?”
I nod slowly. “I’m spending the weekend.”
“Do you have to? You can always stay. There are no custody laws that we need to obey now that you’re an adult.”
“She’ll just end up coming here.”
“Let her,” he says in a dispassionate tone. “We can continue the debate.”
“Papa.” I stroke his jacket. “I want to spend time with her. She’s my mum.”
There might have been times in the past when I disliked her choices and her decisions and what she turned me into, but as I grew up, and after I saw her in that tub, I realised just how fragile Mum actually is. Deep down, she’s being this strict with me because she doesn’t want me to end up as a shell like her, no matter how proud she is that I look like her.
“I understand.” Papa kisses my temple. “Do you know why she’s been grumpier than usual lately?”
“I don’t know.” Mum would kill me if I said something to him about her personal life.
That day she slit her wrist, she made me swear not to humiliate her and said that she’d do it again if I disrupted our oath. I cried as I begged her to go to the hospital. She didn’t, because that would have humiliated her and put her name in the headlines.
I watched her suture herself by following online tutorials. I’m pretty sure she had an infection, but she self-medicated with antibiotics and tranquilisers. She did everything herself and refused to have any medical staff take a look at her.
Since then, she wears thick watches to hide the scar.
“Is it because of that French businessman she’s seeing?” Papa raises an eyebrow. “Poor bastard. Maybe I should warn him that she’ll challenge him every step of the way and eventually suck the life out of him.”
“Papa, no. Lucien is great. They actually get along.”
“They do, huh?”
“Yeah.” I stop myself before saying, ‘They don’t fight like you two’, and instead I tell him, “You just take care of Helen, okay? She’s on a deadline.”
“Fine.” He kisses my temple again. “Have fun. Though I doubt Cynthia will let you in the midst of nagging about everything.”
Shaking my head, I kiss him on the cheek and wave at Derek before I get in my car.
On my way out, I watch the entrance to the house, searching for that familiar black car. Not that Cole comes home this soon.
He has late practice before the game tonight.
Ever since the day of his dad’s anniversary a few weeks ago, something has changed between us.
I can’t put my finger on it, but I feel it in the way he watches me, the way he seizes every chance to kidnap me somewhere out of view, yank my skirt up, and fuck me.
It’s as if he can’t get enough of me. And the more he does that, I