led to a whole lot of clusterfuck. It’s because of what she heard that she retaliated. She fought back. And since then, we’ve kept on fighting and challenging each other in a vicious cycle.
Now, we’re here and nothing can be undone.
“Why are you still here?” She fiddles with her bag on the bed. “Go home. The driver can take you.”
“I know what you’re doing and it’s not going to work. You’ll never be able to push me away, so you might as well stop trying.”
She pretends to not hear me as she yanks all the clothes out of the bag, her back bowing and rigid under the denim jacket.
I stride to her and grip her arm, forcing her to face me, to look at me. She can’t be alone right now.
Tears glisten in her eyes as she pushes at my chest. “What do you want from me? Just leave me alone.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re in pain. I hate it when you’re in pain, Butterfly.”
She breaks down then. A sob tears from her as she wraps her arms around my waist in a vice grip and hides her face in my chest.
I pull her close, a hand on her back and the other protectively around her head. I let her pain soak mine because if I had the option to take the hurt in her cries or the rawness of her grief, I would.
I’ve been emotionally fucked up since I was a child anyway, what’s one more pain to add?
Only, this one has an entirely different meaning.
Silver is the type who doesn’t cry often, and when she does, it’s like she’s breaking your heart. It’s in those small sounds and the sniffles. It’s in the way her whole body shakes with the force of her pain.
“It hurts. Why does it hurt so much, Cole? It’s not supposed to. I should be happy I won’t be forced to have an abortion, but why do I feel like I killed a baby that was never there in the first place? Why do I feel so horrible?”
“You’re not horrible. You’re just human, and you feel pain. It’ll eventually go away.”
“W-what if it doesn’t?” she speaks through her hiccoughs. “What if I always feel this…this loss.”
“Then we’ll feel it together.”
She peeks up at me with her tear-streaked face and bloodshot eyes. “What do you mean?”
“I told you, you’re not the only one responsible for this. Your pain is my pain, Butterfly.”
38
Silver
That night, Cole holds me as I cry myself to sleep.
I cry for something that was never there. But just because the test was negative doesn’t mean I don’t feel the loss.
It doesn’t mean I don’t feel like I’m missing a part of me. A chance of an alternative future, of a different life, another…possibility.
Because I know, I just know that if it were real, Cole and I would’ve fought for it. He would’ve taken me somewhere none of the reporters or the people from back home could find us.
Now, I have to return to the reality that I’m fucking my stepbrother and that while there isn’t a baby this time, life as we know it will be over if anyone catches us.
My head’s been in the clouds and now I have to drop back to the ground.
The next morning, Cole tries to drag me into town. He ambushes me after I’m out of my shower, standing in front of the bathroom in his stylish jeans and T-shirt with his hair combed.
No matter how much I love his appearance, I’m in no mood to leave my bed today. “I want to stay in my room until it’s time to go home.”
“Huh.” He stares down at me with his signature blank expression.
“What?”
“I didn’t know you were a bore aside from being a coward.”
“Hey!” I punch him in the shoulder.
The faintest smile grazes his lips. “Forget it. I’ll go without you. I don’t need cowards on my tours.”
I hear him greet the butler good morning and tell him he’ll have breakfast outside.
That wanker.
I throw on a cute peach-coloured mini-dress with a strappy back and gather my hair into a ponytail. After I shove my feet into the first pair of shoes I find, I storm out behind him.
It’s when I’m by the entrance that I realise I haven’t put on any makeup. Whatever. I’m in no mood for that.
I catch up to Cole by the hill of the house, walking slowly.
“I’m not a coward.” I pant as I keep up with his pace.
He smiles but says nothing.