a lady.
Ladies don’t cry in public.
“You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, Princess.” Papa smiles at me with so much warmth, I want to hug him all over again. “You know I’ll never force you to do anything.”
“I want to do it.” I manage a smile. “I’ll be engaged to Aiden.”
I’ll help Papa.
And most importantly, I’ll get over the cancer that’s been eating at me for years.
The cancer without a cure. Cole.
7
Doll Master
I’ve watched for long enough.
Waited for long enough.
The time has come to take the next step.
My beautiful doll has been growing up into a woman every day in front of my very eyes. She’s been becoming this next upgrade I cannot wait to touch, to run my fingers over.
To taste.
The problem with my pretty little doll is that she spends a lot of time with non-important people like her bitch mother whose only good quality is that she gave birth to her.
Or those friends who make her look stupid when she’s anything but.
My doll will keep growing up, and the more I see her, the surer I become about how she deserves to be number one in my collection.
The others aren’t like her. They never will be.
I used to be fine watching from the sidelines, being proud of my creation and of how she was turning out.
I liked the fact I knew about her and she didn’t know about me.
Isn’t invisibility a wonderful thing?
I’d played it before when I hid from my father. All I had to do was look at my doll and pretend he wasn’t there.
Other days, I’d go to the closet.
Hiding in the dark isn’t hard. At first, you see nothing. Then you might get scared. Then you feel things pulling you by the limbs, and soon enough, you become friends with those things.
The monster under the bed understood me when no one else did. He listened to me when no one else would, and for that reason, he’s my friend. All my demons are my friends. They sit with me when I plan and they’re there when I watch my pretty little doll.
But my demons and I don’t like being ignored. We’ve been on the sidelines for years now, watching quietly without making a sound.
A few weeks ago, I decided my pretty little doll should start getting acquainted with her master.
I chose an untraceable method, of course. So even if she freaked out and told her daddy about me, they wouldn’t be able to find me.
She didn’t.
My little doll can be an attention whore, which is understandable with the bitchy mother she has. My first text to her was, ‘You played the piano perfectly today.’
She read it with a furrowed brow and then she smiled. She lost that day and no one tells those who came second that they played perfectly. All they say is better luck next time.
However, Silver didn’t need luck. She needed encouragement and I gave her that.
Ever since then, I send her texts to compliment her, but also to tell her without being specific that I’m close. Maybe not enough to smell her — her scent is of cherry and Chanel most days — but I’m there.
I watch her.
I listen to her.
And one day, I’ll own her.
8
Cole
That night, I don’t sleep.
I can’t.
Not that I usually have a good sleeping cycle. I’m the type who stays up all night, then sleeps one or two hours before I have to wake up.
I’ve always thought sleep is a waste of time. Why sleep when you can read?
But the reason I can’t sleep isn’t because of reading. In fact, I haven’t been able to touch a book since I got home.
I barely had dinner with Mum, and since then, I’ve been staring at my phone — the text Aiden sent right after Silver messaged me.
Aiden: Hey, how do I remove virginal blood from my dick? Should I just wash it?
I called him immediately, but he didn’t pick up.
It’s only a trick. A fucking game of Aiden’s.
Silver wouldn’t let him fuck her, she sure as hell wouldn’t give him her virginity. Silver might act high and mighty, but she believes in all that lady bollocks. She wouldn’t lose her virginity in the back of a car and with someone she’s not even dating.
She wouldn’t.
Unless if she wanted revenge.
I’ll make you regret it.
Her words echo in my mind like a twisted song, the type where I want to smash the CD against the wall.
I keep filling my head with thoughts like, Silver