that, the better for you.”
He tugs on my hair — hard — before he settles back in place. I pretend he’s not there on the ride home. Or I try to anyway. I’ve never managed to succeed at that.
As soon as we’re inside, Papa and Helen greet us for dinner.
“I’m glad you’re getting along,” Helen says.
“Your meal was well received,” Papa adds.
“Meal?” I ask, staring between them.
Helen shows me an article.
‘Sebastian’s Family: The Future’
There’s a sneaky picture taken of me and Cole while we were eating and smiling. It was when I got the mayonnaise on my nose.
I return Papa’s welcoming expression, even though I die a little inside.
I make sure to stay away from Cole for the rest of the evening. No sitting near him or across from him. No looking at him during Frederic’s briefing. When it’s time for bed, I lock my door and hide under my sheets, barely holding in the tears.
I dial Mum and she picks up after the second ring.
“Mum…”
“What is it, honey?” Her voice is weak but concerned.
“I just miss you.”
“Oh, Babydoll. I miss you, too.” She sniffles.
“Mum, are you crying?”
“I miss you. I miss home. I even miss Sebastian. What is wrong with me?”
I sit up, my heart racing. “Mum, are you drinking?”
“No. I’m watching The Notebook and hating my life.”
“How many times have you watched that one? I thought you hated romantic films.”
“I do.” She pauses. “Is he happy with her?”
I swallow, but I choose to lessen the blow. “I’m not sure.”
“He is. You just don’t want to hurt me.” She releases a breath. “I’ll be better, Babydoll. I promise.”
“Mum, if you still care about Papa, why did you guys get a divorce?”
“I do not care about him. Your father will realise his mistake with Helen and beg me to be with him, and do you know what I will tell him? No. Besides, I have Lucien.”
“You’re the most beautiful woman I know, Mum. Any man is lucky to have you.”
“What’s the point if I can’t have the only one for me?” She releases a sigh. “Anyway, tell me about your day.”
We talk for a few more minutes about school and piano. After she hangs up, I keep thinking about what she said.
What’s the point if I can’t have the only one for me?
Really, what’s the point?
I’m about to switch off the bedside lamp when a shadow appears at the balcony. There’s a rustle of the curtains before someone barges inside.
My mouth opens to scream, but then I make out Cole.
He’s in simple grey cotton trousers and a white T-shirt, but he appears like a model in those home shoots.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I pant. “What are you doing here?”
“Sleeping.”
“Get out. I locked the door for a reason.”
“The locked door can’t keep me away. Besides, why do you think I chose the room next to yours? I always come through the balcony. I have to keep my door locked, too, in case Mum comes to check on me.”
“Is there anything you don’t think through?”
“You.” He dives beside me under the covers and holds me close to him. His chestnut strands fall haphazardly across his head.
“M-me?”
“You’re the only thing I’ve never been able to think through.”
My breath shortens, but I whisper, “Because I’m your chaos?”
“Because you’re the reason I look forward to new days.” His hand slips under my oversized shirt. “Mmm. Nothing. You’re on the naughty list this year.”
“I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. My naughty girl.” He yanks his trousers down and I bite my lip as he aligns the tip of his cock with my entrance. “I’m going to fuck you like that man did that woman today. It’s going to be hard and ruthless, and you’re going to moan my name.”
My limbs liquefy and I’m about to moan from the assault of his words alone.
I don’t get to reply as Cole slams inside me in one merciless go.
And then he keeps his promise.
26
Cole
There are right days and wrong days.
Today is the latter.
I know the right days — or rather, I discovered them over the past couple of weeks.
Right days start with Silver’s face opposite mine before I wake her up with my tongue inside her cunt, and her muffling her screams into the pillow so no one hears.
Right days include leaving hickeys all over her tits and stomach and even her neck, then spying on her as she secretly stares at them in the mirror with a smile.
Those days include sneaking behind everyone’s backs whenever we have