chase away the lump in my throat, no matter how much I swallow.
God. Why am I such a horrible daughter?
Papa needs this. Helen needs this.
I just have to suck it up and move on. I’m good at moving on. At pretending. At being someone everyone envies and wants to be.
My fingers reach for the necklace around my neck, but I quickly drop my hand before I touch it.
I need to keep it together.
I help the catering guys, directing them to the kitchen. Since Mum left, I’ve always taken care of these things; I became an adult at a young age. I guess Helen will take that burden away from me now.
Not that I ever considered it one.
Ronan and Xander join me to steal food.
Xander has a blond exotic look with piercing blue eyes and charming dimples. The worst thing about his whole package is that he’s very well aware of it and uses it every chance he gets.
Ronan, too. He’s developed a charismatic personality that he takes advantage by shagging everyone who wears a skirt.
They both showed up with their parents. Ronan’s father, Earl Edric Astor, is one of Papa’s friends and a crucial sponsor like Uncle Jonathan.
Xander’s father, Lewis Knight, is a powerful member in Papa’s party and basically his right hand — besides Frederic.
I’ve been thrust with these guys since a young age whether I liked it or not. Not that I dislike them — they’re actually fun — but I’ll never tell them that so it doesn’t get into their already big heads.
I swat Ronan’s hand away from the container. “Stop it.”
“Hey!” He stuffs a scone in his mouth. “Food is free. Don’t be a snob, chéri.”
“There’s an open buffet outside.”
“Nah, my father glares at me when I eat this much in public.” He steals another one. “I have to do it in secret like a proper gentleman.”
“Amongst other things you do in secret.” Xander winks at him.
“Mais bien sûr.” Ronan grins. “Remember those tits?”
“Ronan!” I scold.
“What? You didn’t show us yours, so we had to outsource it.” Ronan stares at my cleavage. “Unless you changed your mind.”
“I might.” I open more containers on the counter.
“Really?” both Ronan and Xander nearly shout.
“Really. I have one condition, though.”
“I’m in.” Xander smirks.
“Moi aussi.” Ronan swallows the food in his mouth. “Threesome anyone?”
“What’s the condition?” Xander insists.
“Wank a cactus.” I give them a smug look.
Both their expressions fall when they realise I never planned to go through with it anyway in the first place. They can be so dramatic sometimes.
“Pass.” Xander sighs.
“Silver, mon amour, your tits are beautiful but not beautiful enough to have me cause damage to Ron Astor the Second.”
“Ron Astor the Second?” I ask.
“That’s his dick.” Xander rolls his eyes.
“Ew, I can’t believe you named your dick.”
“All healthy males do. Not my problem you only get close to psychos.” Ronan grins and snatches another dessert from between my fingers to devour it as if he’s been starving.
“So, new family, huh?” Xander waggles his brows, flashing me his dimples.
“It’s just Helen.” I continue with my task.
“And Cole.” Ronan follows me like a puppy to steal from every container I open.
I swat his hands away.
“What? I’m tasting them for you, chéri. You should thank me. Anyway, where was I? Right, Cole. How could you forget him?”
It doesn’t hurt to try.
Today, I haven’t held eye contact with him. I’ve passed him by every time I can. I haven’t looked at his pressed suit Helen is so proud of. I haven’t spoken when people are congratulating us for becoming siblings.
I’ve simply kept my mouth shut and played “Moonlight Sonata” in my head. I’ve pretended I’m somewhere out of here.
Somewhere where he isn’t outside accepting congratulations and acting as if this is the happiest day of his life.
Why can’t I do that?
Just why?
“Where’s Aiden?” I ask instead.
He showed up with Uncle Jonathan, but then he disappeared somewhere out of sight.
“Why?” Ronan grins. “You miss him?”
Not in a million years. “We need to take pictures.”
“He’s probably playing chess against himself.” Xander sips from a glass of champagne and grimaces. “This shit is awful. Do you have any Vodka somewhere?”
“We have no relationship with the mafia, thank you very much.”
“You don’t have to be a bitch about it.” He messes up my plates for good measure before running away.
I nearly hit him with a pan. Ronan steals one more scone and jogs away, too, before I can catch him. He almost runs into Mum on his way out.
“I’m sorry, Ms. Davis.” He takes her