girl came up to me in a bar last night. She offered herself to me within seconds of saying hello,” he says.
I swallow. Please don’t say you accepted. Don’t say it. I’ll break. Just like Kathy said. He’ll break me beyond repair with just a few words. He wouldn’t. Maverick couldn’t do that to me. Could he?
“Say it, Maverick. Just say it,” I mumble.
He looks me in the eye. “I planned the whole thing out in my mind. How I would take her to a hotel and fuck her senseless. So I could come back here to you with a clear head. I didn’t. Of course I didn’t. But I thought about it, and I feel like it’s just as bad,” he grinds out. Thank God. I can deal with this. I can deal with this.
I grab his hand in mine and squeeze. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I have sex with Channing Tatum in my head anytime I scroll past his photo on my newsfeed. You don’t even want to know what I do to Zac Efron in my mind when I watch his movies. You can think whatever you want, Mav. You don’t act on it. There’s a difference. It’s a very large difference,” I explain. He seems to relax a tiny bit. “I want you just like this.” I lay my hand on this side of his face. It’s a little pink from time spent in the sun. “Foggy head and all. I want you like this. If you need to fuck someone, I know a willing participant.” I smile at him. He shakes his head, one dimple disappearing.
“I’m no good. I’m telling you I’m crazy. Nothing in my life will ever be what you deserve. I internalize everything, and don’t tell anyone how I feel. I’m reckless where others are careful. I’m also completely at a loss. I have no idea how to keep what I want most,” he says. He didn’t use the word “fuck” once. He’s honestly telling me how he feels. “You.” He finishes his sentence and it’s like a punch to my stomach and heart at the same time.
My palms feel a little sweaty. “If I tell you one more time I’m not going anywhere you’re gonna start thinking I’m lying. I’ve promised a million times, maybe even once while your dick was in my mouth, that I won’t leave you. I’m the one who should be worried, Maverick. You have girls propositioning you on the regular. My prospects are non-existent. I’m just plain Windsor with the boring job and a cheating ex-fiancé. You make me special.”
He pulls me into a hug. It’s warm and comforting and not the least bit sexual. It’s refreshing just to have him reassuring me, with all our clothing on. I crawl into his lap and entwine my body with his.
“Don’t worry. Please. I only told you to try to warn you how messed up my headspace is. I guess I won’t frighten you off after all I’ve admitted. So let’s just be together. I’ve missed you,” he repeats for the fourth time. It’s like a plea.
“I’ve missed your more, I bet. I wasn’t swimming with dolphins or surfing. I was stuck in my office,” I say. I kiss his cheek because it’s right in my face.
He smiles and his boyish good looks appear. He’s two people—the person he turns into when he talks about his past and his issues, and then this one—the most attractive man on the planet who teases, laughs, and just happens to be all mine.
“God, I’m so glad you’re mine,” I whisper. “Even if it was an accident, or weird cosmic powers, I’m glad you picked me. You make me so happy.” His heady gaze locks on mine. He opens his mouth to say something, but then closes it again, sighing. “Where’s my present?” I squeal, when I remember. I love presents and something from Maverick makes me insanely giddy.
A straight white smile assaults me before his lips kiss mine. One hand twists in my hair and the other pulls my waist closer to him. I’m wearing a dress, a fact I didn’t remember until this second when my panties begin to stick to me. My breathing speeds up, his touch sparking every nerve ending to life. God, his hands are like a magic freaking wand. I shudder. He feels it. His lips form a smile against my mouth, his front teeth meet my tongue instead of his own tongue.
“I actually have