shall we fake your death?” He’s so far gone in his reverie that he’s basically forgotten I’m here. “We’ll send it to Elena first. It needs to have a lot of gore. Lots of macabre.”
I swallow down my blood. It makes me wretch next to my chair. Bloody bile spills onto the cement floor. He hasn’t forgotten me completely, because when I look up he has the sharp end of the scissors pointed at my chest. My eyes widen in shock. I try to jerk away, but I can’t. He carves a fucking V on my pec with the dull blade. He leaves me passed out in the little chair in the little office when he’s finished.
I awake listening to my blood drip on the cement floor. It pools in a huge puddle. That’s how I want to kill V. I will drown him with my blood—until my life essence takes away his.
Merely remembering V and that little office chills me right to the fucking bone. That is one of the memories from my horrid past that I’ll never forget for as long as I live. I think it was the moment I truly found out who Lainey was. And I realized it didn’t matter. I love the woman regardless. It didn’t matter then, of course. I was prepared to die. Now, though, still in light of everything that has transpired between us, my love for her has only grown. It’s because I love her that I’m letting her go. I need to kill V, and she needs to move on with her life.
Molly calls my cell, but I let it go to voicemail. The ceiling in my bedroom is far more enticing right now. I don’t ponder things nearly enough. Maybe if I did I wouldn’t make such poor decisions. As I send her call to voicemail, I notice I have a new email. The lure to rid my inbox of the red number one is too strong. I click the icon and see her name. My heart starts hammering and my eyes search for her words.
From: LaineyRostov@Memail.com
Subject: Wedding
This is the last email I’ll ever send to you as a Rosemont…or a Rostov. Or to make it less complicated I will just say this is the last email you’ll receive from me as a single woman and perhaps the last email ever. I feel bad about the other night. Dax deserves better. Hell, I think he even realizes his mistake now. There’s no turning back now, though. I told him everything. Well, not quite every detail, but I couldn’t lie because honestly, it left me emotionally wrecked. He was angry, hurt, dismayed. All the things he was before when I was ‘figuring things out’. He’s been programmed to expect the worst from me and still love me. That’s how I know I’m probably making the right decision. Through thick and thin, it’s hard. Especially when I’m mostly thin, with a penchant for getting a wild hair up my ass.
That night at the club, I thought it meant more than it did at the time. I waited for you to say, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Fast Lane.” Or maybe, “Let’s take a weekend at Dances like the Wind.” I thought it was the turning point, that you finally realized we belonged together. Instead I just got a goodbye. I get it, I do. It’s just hard for me to wrap my brain around the fact that the man I’ve loved for a good portion of my life isn’t going to be the man I love for the rest of it. Granted, I can’t magic my love for you away even if I wish I could, but I can love Dax in the spaces you left. While you may see me smiling and kissing him (I’m not sure if you’re coming to the wedding), know I’m probably still thinking of you. Love takes time to forget—especially a love as thick as ours. I hope you know I’m okay—I’ll always be okay. I’m taking care of myself, if you catch my drift. In return I want you to take care of yourself. My world is better knowing you’re in it. When I walk down the aisle to him, know it could be you just as easily. You’re right, though, it would have never worked out between us. Love isn’t enough during this time. Maybe next?
The Space between your Time and his,
Lainey Rosemont (soon to be Redding)
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Lainey
IT’S TEN O’CLOCK at night