hear doors closing in the background wherever Lainey is. She’s leaving the room. Hiding? From him. “I know it’s been forever. I just needed time to sort through everything, you know? It took a long time for me to even believe you were alive. Somehow even seeing you in the hospital bed…after you came home just wasn’t…real. I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me, but I was hoping you’d meet with me. Cody.” She says my name because she wants to hear it, I can tell. I wonder if it tastes differently now that oceans of time and space have drowned our relationship.
It feels as if something large and sticky is lodged in my chest. I can hardly believe the words coming out of her mouth. Unsuccessfully, I clear the emotion from my throat. This isn’t part of the plan. I’ve learned the only thing I can count on is change. One quality a man must have in this world is versatility. “Oh, Lane. Is that a good idea? I don’t blame you for the less than stellar welcome home. Years passed. No one is the blame for that.” Actually there are people to blame. I just haven’t tracked them down quite yet.
“Don’t feel guilty, but meeting up now? After all this time? Of course I will if that’s what you truly want. If it helps you find closure.” The words are all lies. I care a lot. I want to see Lainey with every fiber in my being. My bones, all of them, want her in every possible way. When she glanced at me in the hospital bed for the first time in over three and a half years, but then turned from the room without saying a word, it was worse than torture. “It’s what you want?” I ask again, praying to whoever is out there she answers with a yes.
“Yes.” Firm. Assured. Lainey has thoroughly thought this through. It shouldn’t surprise me, but it does. It’s been so long. I assumed she was well on her way to a happily ever after with the new SEAL who stole her heart.
My smile wanes as reality trickles into my awareness. “I don’t want to sneak around. Your significant other knows you want to see me? This isn’t me jumping to any conclusions, mind you. I know seeing me is just that…seeing me. But will he think the same?”
The phone crackles. “I’ll tell him.” My chest clenches. She’s still with him. Of course she is. Who would let a woman like that go? “It’s just an innocent meeting. Dax understands.” Maybe for her it will be innocent. His name. Dax. I look up at the ceiling. Turning, I walk away from the window and back toward the kitchen, gripping the cell phone tighter against my ear. “When and where?” I ask. “I’m in Manhattan this weekend, but my schedule is flexible.” I’m not sure how much Lainey knows about my life these days. She knows about my home here, and about my work, but I’m not sure what else. The media had a field day after I was rescued. My face was plastered everywhere and then again when I opened Ridge Contracting. I remember the headlines, ‘Former SEAL opens contracting company. America’s elite scramble for employment.’ It depends on how badly she wanted information about me. It’s all out there. For multiple reasons.
“I can meet you in Manhattan tomorrow,” she replies. “I’m in Virginia Beach right now. I’ll just tie up some loose ends with work first.”
“I can go there,” I reply, barely containing my excitement. “I have to ask one more time, Lane. Why now?” It’s a valid question. A stronger man would tell her no—that she lost that chance when she refused to speak to me after years apart.
She sighs. My entire body responds like a match lighting. I can envision her face…her small nose pinched on one side as she contemplates her answer, her bottom lip worrying between her teeth.
Slinging a leg over my barstool, I hang my head in one hand and close my eyes. “Why now?” I ask again.
“Our relationship was…is… like a shoe with really long shoe strings. No matter how you tie those things you still trip over the laces.” Always eloquent. “I wanted you to recover. Dax needed me to be…a different person. I couldn’t handle it. It was too much. As my wedding approaches I’m finding the shoelaces longer than ever.”
I smile. “I think what you’re trying