with myself before I can process everything that has taken place. If I think about it now, it won’t make sense. I’ll hate myself for an eternity. I’ll offer my gratitude for everything you’ve done for me, as meager as it sounds. Vadim ruined your life because of me. There’s no way to sugarcoat that. I deserve this—the pieces of my life strewn about in such a haphazard manner. You can’t witness this, Cody. I won’t ask you to, and…I don’t want you,” Lainey says. She hasn’t blinked once since she began speaking. Her words sear my heart and force me to come to the realization that all of this hasn’t changed anything. She’s not mine. She won’t be mine again. You know in the movies—because our life really is like a movie—when the heroine comes running into the hero’s arms after they face certain death? That shit is fiction. Real life is much more complicated than that. Hearts are wounded, spirits are broken and desolate, lives are demolished so completely, that a relationship would only add to the confusion.
“Fast Lane,” I whisper, taking the side of her face into my hand. Her skin is cold, clammy. “Your life is fully intact. He’s gone and he’s not coming back. Sure, you pissed off some people with your runaway bride stunt, but come on…you know they expected that anyway. A plus for giving the audience what they wanted. They’ll be talking about how flaky you are for months,” I say, smiling wide. She sniffles, because she finally breaks down and lets her tears fall, but smiles that radiant smile. I continue, “You don’t want me. I may not agree with that, but I get it. By all means, love yourself. If you need someone by your side while you figure out how amazing you are, I’ll be here for you. Always. It takes a special kind of person to do what you did today.” She even had me fooled. I won’t admit that to her quite yet. Hesitantly I grab her other shoulder. “You are amazing and brave. You saved lives and you took the one who stole pieces of mine. I should be the one thanking you,” I say. The need to kiss her overcomes me and I lean forward a touch, but stop myself.
“Don’t thank me, Cody. If you want me to be happy, then live your life.” She pulls my hand from her face and looks at the side. Her profile is so perfect, even marred by tears and streaked by makeup. Her skin is flawless underneath. Her nose is small and button like, her lips push out, so damn wet and kissable. Lainey will always be my perfect. She’s lost in thought, daydreaming or having waking nightmares about our night. “I have to go. I have so much damage control to deal with today that I’d make Martha Stewart have a heart attack. I’ll be in touch.” She won’t. That’s okay. I’ve done everything I can. “And Cody?” she says, turning as she goes.
“Yeah?” I ask.
She pauses. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
I smile. “Me too.”
“And Cody?”
“Yeah?”
“The café is still mine.” Her smile is sad.
“I’d never dream of stealing your lettuce. Of course,” I reply.
I watch her walk away, her ‘bride’ emblazoned back marking the obscene irony of this situation. She leaves the bloody kitchen and strolls out of the front door as if she’s heading somewhere important. Her head held high, shoulders back. She killed a man today and now she’s dealing with it in her own way. Patience is something I recently learned—the one thing V taught me, unwittingly. I have all the time in the world to wait for Lainey.
The world is a giant triangle. We are the points, connected to each other whether we know it or not. At times like these, it’s obvious to see who is attached. For others it’s more vague, like an echo. An echo is air missing noise. What it boils down to is I’m just space waiting for my time.
I know it will come. Eventually.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Cody
Six months later
I HAVE NO clue what Lainey has been up to. Of course it’s a task to keep my mind from wandering to her from time to time. They say distance makes the heart grow fonder. That is so fucking true. But it also forces you to realize you can function, happily, without being in the same proximity of that person. Do I miss her? Every heartbeat. Knowing she’s safe and living life