I’m on Dax’s cell phone, pleading with my mother to help me clean up the wedding fiasco. I tell her that it was a mistake and that Dax and I make better friends. She doesn’t buy it, but she also doesn’t make waves. She knows how upset I’ve been and is trying her best to coral my friends and family without inciting a riot.
“The champagne for the reception is in my wine cellar in big black boxes. Bring it upstairs and explain the situation to them,” I tell her, begging. “I’ll cater a huge lunch for everyone. Hell, I may even be able to show up with Dax and apologize in person.” She asks what happened to me last night. I tell her I went somewhere to think and ended up meeting Dax and deciding to end our engagement. She clicks her tongue.
“I’m happy you had the courage, Lainey. I just wish it didn’t come in true Lainey fashion at the very last minute,” Mom explains. She’s right. I can’t even argue with that logic.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I love you. I’ll see you soon.” I need to clean myself up before I show myself in public. Dax listens intently, shaking his head as I speak to her. He knows exactly what I’m dealing with. It’s kind of an unspoken fact that we’re splitting up for good this time. I watch as he heads toward Cody.
Cody
It shouldn’t surprise me, but a little part of me thought she’d want the normal life with him after all. I heard her calling off the wedding. As for me, this is it. I’m handing the company over to my men. I’ll sit on board and fund them to continue the important work they do, but I don’t want to be on any jobs. My coding makes enough money to fund a small country and that’s where my time is best spent. This could be the start of my normalcy. Will I miss the rush of adrenaline and the pump of my heart as I track bad guys and hunt down evil? Perhaps. Some risks are worth the reward.
Dax walks toward me and I’m not sure if I’m ready for this conversation. “Listen. Fuck you for being alive, but fuck me for being an asshole. Had I known all this before, man. Well, things would have been different. I love her. Part of me believes I always will, but this is officially my cue to exit stage left and never look back. I’ll take responsibility for my actions, of course. Right now I have a suitcase full of wounded pride with a carry-on of how the fuck didn’t I know any of this? Once I unload those, maybe we can be friends.” He smiles, but it’s weak and tired. We’ll never be friends in the true sense of the word because our bridge has fucking burned into ashes. Perhaps we can breathe the same oxygen standing next to each other without choking one day. That must be what he means. I’ve also gathered he will not be having Lainey after this debacle. Not just as his wife, but as a whole.
I take his offered hand and shake it. “Normal girls are no fun,” I joke. “Here’s to unloaded baggage and moving on. Nothing about this mess will mix with your name. You have my word. The Feds will be happy to have Vadim out of the picture. It’s a drug bust gone wrong, obviously. Check your bags and enjoy life, bro. It’s too short,” I say. I watch as a few men take V from the room. That’s all my baggage in one human corpse. The breath that comes next is the freshest breath I’ve taken in years. This is messier than what we had planned and the cover-up will be extensive, but it was worth it because it has the same end result. Dax returns to Lainey and they speak in hushed whispers. She looks sad and utterly exhausted, but still talking with her hands. She walks him to the front door and returns to me. My men are shuttling us home.
Her arms by her sides, and her glassy eyes studying my face, she says, “Sometimes there aren’t words to express gratitude. Most of the time there aren’t words to convey love, either. I’m thankful to you, but I can’t say I love you. Not right now. I’m not sure who I am in this moment of time. I need to fall back in love