can’t change my past, Windsor. Trust me, I would if I could, because it obviously is an issue for you. I move forward.” He points at the door behind me. “You can’t change your past either. You move forward. You trust again.”
I fold my arms around my stomach to hold myself together. “It will kill me,” I whisper. “I can’t go through that again.”
I’m engulfed in his warm arms in the next breath. I sigh, relaxing for the first time in days. He smells so incredible. He feels so perfect. His words hit the right spot in my heart. He sighs, leans his head down, and inhales deeply.
“I’ve got you. I’ll never do what he did to you. I won’t abandon you, Windsor. I’d rather kill myself than hurt you,” he says, still breathing in my hair by my ear. I wish there were a handful of guys in between the Nashhole and Maverick. Then I’d be ready for this. “I have no self-preservation awareness when I’m around you. My happiness is directly dependent on you,” he says.
He pulls me away and holds my shoulders. He looks so shaken by his confession that I actually see his shoulders shake. I want to kiss him. I want him to know I’m his. I lean toward him, but he immediately backs away.
“Please, just…can we leave here?” he says, stuttering. He notices I’m aware of his verbal trip up. “This,” he waves his arm around the hotel room, “is something out of my worst nightmare,” he says stonily. “You upset. Crying. Standing in front of a bed, in a fucking hotel room.” He shuts his eyes tightly, trying to erase the image from his mind. “I never wanted to see you like this. Especially here, Windsor. You have to understand—you have to believe me when I say you’re different.” His voice drops lower.
I close the gap between us and hold his big bear paws in mine. “I’m getting that. I’m sorry, I just saw all of those girls all over you and I got jealous, and they are all so flawless and want to give you whatever you want. I don’t even know what you want me to give you,” I admit. My face flushes. He still looks extremely uncomfortable in this room. “You do know you are eventually going to have to have sex with me in a hotel room, right?” I ask, trying to lighten the mood.
The corner of his mouth wedges up, but the dimples don’t come out to play. He shakes his head. I sniffle loudly. He picks me up with ease and carries me to the bathroom. I wrap my legs around him when he places me on the counter, to hold him to me. He reaches for the tissues and hands me one. I wipe my eyes and then my nose. He just stays silent, happy just to be with me. I lean my forehead against his chest.
“Why are we so messed up?” I whisper. I feel him kiss the top of my head. Every touch he gives is so full of feeling. It’s like he knows I need everything he gives without even asking. Being with him is effortless.
“I don’t know, but know this, and remember this, you shouldn’t be jealous of anyone, I only want you and because of that I’m about to ask for the most selfish thing I’ve ever asked for,” he says, pausing, waiting for me to respond.
I nod my head. He couldn’t possibly ask for anything that selfish. I mostly think this because I’m currently in a state of hysterics.
“I want you to give me you,” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. His words line up with everything Stone told me earlier this morning. He doesn’t think he deserves me, or a relationship. I wrap my arms around him a little tighter.
“I’m not going anywhere, Maverick. I promise. I meant what I said out in the hallway. Well, I said a lot of things, but when I said you were worth the risk…I want give this a chance,” I confess, placing my hand over his heart. He blows out a giant breath. “You couldn’t possibly think I’d deny you that request? You did just defend my honor. I did the one thing I’ve dreamed of doing for years now.” I lift my head and meet his hazel eyes. One dimple pops up. I laugh.
“What? Crack his face in?” he asks. “Because technically I did that.”
“No,” I