lose DB, but we gotta vote off someone else. That’s the next part.
I’d figure Wild Fox for pretty much [bleep] [bleep]ed. Except.
Well. Shows what I know.
Curves kind of had it in for me. There was this thing. It didn’t mean a [bleep]ing thing, but it happened, you know? I was worried about the whole Diamonds thing, and I wasn’t watching what I say like I usually do. I was walking past the showers when Curves was coming out in a towel after soaping down, and I said something. Nothing [bleep]y, you know? Just something like “Great, we got something clean to eat off.” Or “Whyn’t you bend over, make an old man happy?” Just [bleep]ing [bleep] talk like anyone would. I say the same [bleep] to my sister all the time. It’s not like I mean anything by it. But Kate gets a hair across her [bleep] about it. And I know Earth Witch kinda has that girl-on-girl thing going with Curves. In a platonic way, you know. But still.
I know I come across a little [bleep]ing rough sometimes. It’s who I am. It’s not like a some kind of prejudiced sheep[bleep]er like what they made Rustbelt out to be. I don’t give a good [bleep] if you’re swinging a [bleep] down to your kneecaps or you’ve got [bleep]s so big you can’t play accordion without pinching your nips. People of color. Jews. Towel-heads. Only thing matters to me is whether you can get the [bleep]ing job done, and that goes double for women. I’ve always said we should give the bitches equal pay and all. [Bleep]. I’m practically a [bleep]ing feminist, you know? I [bleep]ing respect the [bleep] out of those [bleep]s and it’s like they can’t even see it.
You know, first it’s Rustbelt, and now it’s me. I’ll tell you this, and it’s the mother[bleep]ing truth. It’s more fun getting butt[bleep]ed by a [bleep] with a twelve-inch spiked dildo than being a straight-up blue-collar guy in Hollywood.
Confessional: Howard Hawkwood aka Jetman
I don’t mean to complain, but this game is rigged.
I’m sorry, but it’s true. I’ve suspected it for some time, but this last challenge makes it obvious. Talk about unfair. Up to now, all four teams have faced the same obstacles during these challenges. The burning building, for instance. Same fire, same brownstone, same ten victims to be saved. We all heard the robot baby crying, we all had to deal with the guy who jumped from the window. If some teams did not do as well as others, well, we only had ourselves to blame.
All that got thrown out with this “rogue ace” thing, though. Yeah, sure, it was the same bank and the same gang of robbers for all four suits . . . but the guest ace changed from team to team. The Spades had to face Detroit Steel and the Clubs got the German, Lohengrin, both of them formidable adversaries, I don’t doubt . . . but even the two of them together would not be a match for Golden Boy.
And the Hearts . . . don’t even get me started about them. The other three teams have to fight real aces, and they get a stage magician? Yes, I know he’s tested positive for the wild card, but that doesn’t mean that he has any powers. Sure, I read the piece about him in Aces, but it’s like my mother says, you can’t believe everything you read. I don’t buy all that stuff about Matthews being the British Fortunato. I’ve seen the footage where he beats the Hearts, and it was all smoke and mirrors and magician’s tricks. My mother says that Siegfried and Ralph do the same stuff better. She saw their act when she went to Las Vegas that time with her canasta club, and she knows.
The producers and the network know who they want to win, you better believe it. Some of the other contestants might be fooled, but not me. I’m from Philadelphia, and like my mother always says, people from Philadelphia know their [bleep] from a cheesesteak. The Hearts got the magician because the TV people wanted them to win, and we got Golden Boy because they wanted us to lose.
Jack Braun’s powers are for real. He turned his ace the day that Jetboy fell, he has more experience at this than anyone. He’s faced down entire armies. Did the producers really think the four of us could stop him? How? Braun is the strongest man in the