to people at the house, you’d think nothing else had happened this week. There are a hundred other things that could be getting air time just as well.
Diver, for instance. She did a really great job at Venice Beach. What if the statue had been underwater? I know it didn’t work out that way, but she could have beaten us all out. She made a real effort. What did Bubbles do? Nothing. She sat and watched the rest of us. I remember looking at her and thinking she was just like the kid who used to hang out in the playground and steal lunch money from the little kids.
You see, that’s what isn’t fair. Diver made an honest effort, Bubbles just hung out at the beach, and which one’s in the Discard Pile? This was Diver’s last big chance to get some exposure and attention, and instead, she’s just mentioned in passing because there’s a bigger story going on, and Bubbles gets another shot next week. There’s just something basically wrong with a system where bad people get rewarded and good people get punished.
Not that I’m saying Bubbles is a bad person, you understand. Just that if she had figured out that I had the statue, I don’t think she would have hesitated to come after me. It’s not really a scavenger hunt when all you have to do is wait by the finish line and beat the snot out of whoever was just about to win honestly. Like with Jade Blossom and Cleopatra, for instance. It was hard when I saw the footage of that. Jade Blossom did a great job, and part of me was very sorry for her, even though Cleo is on my team. But what Cleo did was smart, and it used her powers well, and it wasn’t just threatening to beat up Jade Blossom. I don’t think the two things are the same at all.
Things are really getting intense now. The part where we have to win the challenges and do what we came here to do? It’s all getting lost under the scramble for who gets the most attention and screen time. I heard there were a couple of people—I’m not going to name names—who were seriously thinking about getting it on someplace that the cameras would “just happen in on them.” That way they could be the big story for the week.
That would be hilarious, you know. A whole hour about who was sneaking into which bedroom while all this is going on? I’m not the kind of guy who kisses and tells, but I’ve heard enough about some of these other people that I can promise you that show would take a few people down a peg. Everyone thinks that Drummer Boy is getting all the action because he’s got that whole rock star chic going, but a little bird tells me he’s way behind some other people on this show.
You know, I was really joking, but I could get into a show like that. I know I’d rather be watching footage about that than Stuntman and Rustbelt calling each other names.
Confessional: Haley Mok aka Jade Blossom
Who the [bleep] does that little [bleep]head Pop-Tart think she is, anyhow?
I had the [bleep]ing Jetboy in my hands and the skank just snatched him and popped off! Five seconds to see her coming and I’d have a fist as hard as granite to smash her pretty little face in! I bet she thinks she’s so clever.
[Breathing in deeply] Okay, okay, I’m past it. And sooner or later, she’ll get hers. And I’ll be there, so [bleep] it for now.
Why won’t these [bleep]s understand I can carry my team? Like that safe thing, dudes, somebody figure out how to throw me or lift me way up in the air and I’ll come down on that safe like lead! Maybe I could have sat on Holy Roller’s lap and he gets up a lot of momentum and just throws me! Just smash that bastard open! And [giggling] I’ll look just as pretty the whole way.
That’s what it’s really about, looking pretty. I mean, it’s TV, you know? I hung around Drummer Boy when I could, ’cause the camera likes both of us, even if he is a joker. Diver was okay, I mean to look at, and okay, Pop-Tart and Tiffani too—I hate Tiffani! That bitch! I can be hard as diamond too, but does anybody give a [bleep]? Just ’cause she’s so sparkly? Why, ’cause