monotone voice from his mindspeak broke out against the silence. "That's seriously all that was left? We are definitely fucked."
Huxley reached around Patrick to flick Jacob on the ear. "Can you turn the thing off? We have to pretend at least to be optimistic here, man."
Jacob blushed slightly before reaching up to pull it from his ear, but I grabbed his wrist. I liked Jacob's unfiltered honesty. I preferred it to false promises. "Leave it on. You know I like hearing what you think," I said softly before throwing him a small smile.
"Come on," Cyler interrupted before Jacob’s mindspeak could respond to my declaration. "Let's go check out the old town before it gets dark. We’ll need to set up camp, and Ash needs to eat again." A part of me was tired of how much they kept fussing over me, but the other part appreciated Cyler's thoughtfulness.
They all started heading towards the transport where Jules and Tallis were already patiently sitting. I stayed behind for a moment longer, looking over the destruction while wondering where the people of Dormas were now. Had they died? Was anything really still the same?
After Cavil died, the riots started. At first, it was to overthrow his army, but then people stopped knowing what it was they were fighting for. They were mad. Mad at the empire. Mad at the powerful man that got us in this situation. Mad at the disease that had taken so many lives. Mad at the cure for its false promises. They went through mindless rage, burning everything in their path. And if the Walkers weren't wandering the streets of the empire, then the violent rioters were. It felt like there was nothing left but my men and me.
However, the worry on all of their faces told me that wasn't true. There were lots of enemies left. And now that word was out that Payne held the answer to our cure and that Maverick was probably the only man left alive smart enough to crack it, we had large targets over our head for the people still clinging to hope instead of their anger.
Kemper stayed next to me, running a hand through his blond hair while we both stared out one last time. We would rebuild. I knew we would. It just didn't make the hurt go away. Dormas represented my freedom. Dormas was my refuge from heartache—from my life of servitude. Dormas was where I found myself, and it was where I left my heart, too. It's where I broke it up into pieces and gave it away to six men.
But home wasn’t a place, it was people. If anything, this experience had taught me that.
Behind me, the transport door slammed shut, causing the noise to echo throughout the deserted town. I squeezed my eyes closed, the sounds reminding me of Cavil's bedroom. It didn't sound like bone crunching, but even the hint of violence brought my mind back to that place. A shiver traveled through my body, remnants of the adrenaline that once flooded through my system. I never thought I was capable of murder, never thought I was capable of such an act. And now my mind kept going back to that place, reliving the horrors of what I was capable of. Again, I didn't regret it. But I couldn't help but feel fearful of the girl that killed Commodore Cavil. She was strong, but she was mindless and angry. She didn't feel like me at all.
A hand grabbed my wrist and turned me into a hug. I was stiff with adrenaline and fear but quickly melted into the warmth of Kemper's embrace. He kept doing little things like this, bringing me out of these memories and comforting me with words of affirmation that I was still the girl he fell in love with. Kemper, my perfectionist. My fixer.
I wondered if he would still love me if he'd seen what I did.
"You're here. You're safe," he whispered over and over. I let him comfort me even though sometimes I wondered if I deserved it. I liked being affected by what I did. In some ways, although it tortured me, it still reminded me that I was alive. That I was human. I was thankful for my humanity because it showed me that I wasn't completely swallowed up by the rage I felt whenever I thought of the evil men that destroyed this empire and enslaved people.
"I love you, Kemp," I whispered.
"I love you too, Ash."
Chapter Two
The