gear, minus the crib. I assumed that, one day, Kemper would want his own child to use the cradle his grandfather once carved. Thurst and Bowden said goodbye to us with tears streaming down their faces, and Mia stayed behind to help them get settled.
“That was a good thing you did back there,” Jacob said while sliding his hand in mine.
“I did nothing,” I replied with a shrug. Huxley began to take large strides ahead of us towards the transport, distancing himself from us as quickly as possible. Jacob noticed Huxley’s rough attitude, and after kissing the top of my hand, he ran to the transport and got in before locking the door. He rolled down the windshield just as I walked up to it.
“The two of you need to talk, and I’m not unlocking the door until you do,” Jacob said while rolling the window back up. Huxley kicked the door with a growl, causing a dent to form.
“Cyler’s going to be mad you dented his transport,” I said. I sighed and sat down in the dirt. I didn’t have the energy to fight Jacob and his stupid plan. I wore exhaustion like a glove and wanted to get this over with. “Talk so we can go,” I added.
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Huxley said with a huff. He crossed his arms over his chest and avoided looking at me.
“Say whatever is going to help you not look at me like I’m the worst thing you’ve ever seen,” I said. “It feels like you’re mad at me again.” I rubbed my sleepy eyes.
“I’m not mad at you.” He plopped down in the dirt beside me. “I’m mad at myself. I’m mad that my impulsiveness almost killed someone.” He threw a pebble off into the distance. I wondered if Jacob was listening.
“You were just doing what you’ve always done. You were protecting your community,” I said, trying to convince him that it wasn’t his fault. It was this crazy world we lived in. A world where we had to kill first, ask questions later. A single tear fell down my face, but I was too tired to wipe it away. Huxley turned his head and peered at me.
“If you weren’t there, Hope would have died,” he said. I felt empathetic towards all that plagued Huxley. “I would have released that fucking arrow and . . .” His voice trailed off into nothing, but I knew what he struggled to say.
“I couldn’t have done what you did either. It takes both sides of the coin, Hux.” The suffering Walker woman’s bloody face, and the sound of the arrow hitting her chest, pierced my mind as more tears fell.
“It’s all so fucked up.” He pulled a flask from his pants and took two large gulps. I heard the transport’s door open, and soon Jacob was sitting down beside me, too.
“Agreed,” I replied with mock confidence. We sat outside the transport for a while longer in silence. I mourned my parents, Hope’s mother, Josiah, and my childhood. I teetered along my breaking point. It felt like I was dancing on the edge of eternity.
I bottled up my scars, and we went back to the Black Manor.
Chapter Fifteen
I woke up in Cyler’s bed. His minty scent filled the air, and I struggled to pull myself out of the fog of tiredness that still clung to me. Sometime around six in the morning, Cyler’s bulky frame shimmied under the covers with me. He had worked all night at the mines, and I was comforted by his sleepy, fumbling hands that found me in the dark of the early morning.
It was ten when I finally pulled myself together enough to get out of bed. Cyler was already gone for the day, he slipped away after kissing me on the forehead about an hour ago. I couldn’t fathom how he and the others functioned on such little sleep. I endured one week of exhaustion and could barely stand up, how were they defending an entire province?
When I walked into the kitchen, I was greeted by the smell of bacon and Jacob’s perfect smile. I gently hugged him from behind while he cooked.
“Thanks for last night,” I groggily mumbled into his toned back while he flipped the bacon. He smelled like linen and coffee. He started swaying his hips and humming, forcing us to dance as he cooked .
“Huxley will go years without confronting his feelings if you don’t force him into a conversation,”