every possible sensation between us. I wanted to vividly remember these last moments with the love of my life.
Each passing moment, his fingers gripped me in a way that made my heart race. After a while, our tears dried, and we were barely an exhale away from kissing one another. I tried to gather up enough courage to close the distance between us, but each time I considered it, something held me back.
The living room clock chimed, reminding us that dawn was coming. So instead of giving in to what we wanted, we both stood and stared at one another. I considered what our life would be like if there weren't this imaginary divide built upon status keeping us apart. I wondered if he would have married me. If we would have had kids. If we would have grown old together.
I walked him towards the stairs, and just as he began his ascent, I grabbed his shoulders and dusted them off, the gesture of care and love that I’d performed every morning with him for as long as I could remember. Josiah stiffened at the touch of my fingertips, but I ignored it. I wanted to claim this last bit of him.
Just as I turned to head back to my small cot, Josiah grabbed my wrists and held them over my head while pushing me against the cold concrete wall. His lips crashed upon mine, and I gasped in shock. He moved with the intention of being unforgettable; I doubted I would ever forget.
His tongue begged entrance into my closed lips, and I greedily accepted him. He tasted like mint and sugar and sin. His hands released my wrists then snaked around my neck. My skin burned wherever he touched. He forced his thigh between my legs, pressing me tightly against him and the wall. His body was everywhere, it encompassed me, and I was helpless to stop the onslaught of sensations. I gripped his back, pulling Josiah even tighter against me. The act encouraged him, and I felt his smile on my lips. Feeling Josiah let go was blissful and addicting. It hinted at everything we could be.
He then bit my lip, and the slight pain brought me back to reality. I quickly pulled away and calmed my breathing. The kiss was amazing. Earth shattering. But, Josiah wasn't mine. He never would be. His fiery eyes blazed at me, igniting all the pain and passion between us.
"Stay with me. We can make this work," he pleaded.
I simply remained silent. I allowed Josiah's hopes to permeate my soul. It felt good to feel wanted by Josiah Stonewell, even if only for a brief moment.
"I can't be your secret, Josiah. I love you too much for that," I replied. I couldn't live knowing that I risked his status amongst the community. Josiah was headed for greater things. Instead of responding, Josiah pulled me in for a tight hug. It was the goodbye he wouldn't be able to give me tomorrow in front of everyone.
"I love you, Ashleigh," he whispered then turned to walk upstairs and out of my life. Once the basement door shut, announcing his departure, the emptiness of the basement surrounded me, and I collapsed on the floor and sobbed.
Chapter Eight
Morning came too soon. The circles under my eyes clashed against my skin, and my eyes were red from the stress of saying goodbye to Josiah. I packed food for our travels, and we endured breakfast in silence. Jules kept throwing satisfactory smiles my way. She seemed to enjoy the turmoil I was in, which furthered my sorrow at this devastating situation.
I allowed myself to observe her openly. She was beautiful and refined. Everything expected of a Stonewell. Her perfectly manicured nails and her bright smile would fit in nicely at political functions and parties.
I envied her as she exchanged pleasantries with Mistress Stonewell. I knew not to expect any tears shed on behalf of Linda, but her absolute joy at my departure made me resentful. She’d never liked how close Josiah and I were, and this was the perfect solution to remove me without undermining him.
I carefully cleaned the kitchen for the last time, and Cyler helped me load our belongings into the transport. Jules and Cyler's goodbye was brief and formal. It lacked the sentimentality you’d expect between siblings, and both seemed eager to be rid of one another, which was curious to me.
Linda gripped my shoulder in mock affection, furthering the ruse that I was meaningful